Impossible and Needy Children—The Work on Parenting: Session One

"Susan Stiffelman and Byron Katie appear together in the first of three sessions of the Work on Parenting. By way of introduction to the series, Susan explains how we can take what Katie has understood and apply it to parenting. Katie describes her experience of waking up to reality in terms of her relationships with her children.’Through inquiry, I came to see that my children were fine. It’s what I was thinking and believing about them that needed a little work.’ Katie uses the example of a child being at a party where illegal drugs are present to show how The Work untangles the confusion often experienced in dealing with these situations. ‘We inform our children how much they can tell us by how we react to what they share,’ Susan says. A caller from the UK asks, ‘How can I have a loving and mutually respectful relationship with my twenty-year-old son, who is impossible to live with?’ Katie helps her to view this situation from a fresh perspective. Kristen from Minnesota asks, ‘How do I give my children the individual attention they need, and how do I know it’s enough?’ Katie guides her to fill in a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet and question the concepts she has written down. After careful inquiry, Kristen sees that she is the one who is needy, and finds great compassion and love for her son in the moment of his perceived neediness. If we argue with our children, we teach them to argue as a way of life. —Byron Katie. For more information, visit thework.com."