Episode 94 - Dating While Satanist
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We all love Satan, but for those who need someone else to love we’ve got testimonials from the Satanic dating scene. When the fate of your soul crosses matters of the heart, who finds their one true soullessmate, and who just gets burned? Our own unfaithful listeners have the goods -- and the not-so goods. SHOW LINKS Hannah's Twitter @hannahslammagwa CBS: Nike Gets Restraining Order GoFundMe: Support Melissa Cheng's Lawyer Fees and Med Leave LISTENER TESTIMONIALS Will: My story begins at the end of a lengthy relationship involving some important life choices, and subsequently during an upsurge of seriously Satanic self-study, during which my partner at the time looks to me and says, “That shit hasn't done you a bit of good." I explained the meaning of the rituals, what they were designed for and who did the designing, I attempted to share what was happening to me, the joys and despairs that I was finding whilst I explored my inner landscapes, to no avail. After the split, years passed and I resigned myself to the notion that I wasn't going to meet someone, and yet unbeknownst to me at the time I already had met my future partner, another non-Satanist, 30 years prior! Being forward as a practicing Satanist whilst experiencing life with someone who is not a Satanist has truly helped me in my endeavors. Having the bonus of a lover who understands the qualities of my intent aside from my religion is most important, and the trust and support of an intimate ally, someone that you are able to discuss what has been gleaned from your subjective universe is extremely rewarding. As in any domestic partnership, there are storms. However, as a couple, we love the occasionally stunning flashes of clarity that can accompany them. Melissa: At first I was very scared to come out as a Satanist to my significant other due to the fear of scaring him off. We didn’t really talk about religion until I had worn one of my favorite Blackcraft shirts that says "Satan is my Daddy.” I told him I am a Satanist and he looked kind of in shock and he just replied with a "Oh" and we continued on with our date. He himself was never really religious but grew up in a Christian household just like myself, and he would slowly get into Satanism and attend Satanist events with me. We are both now Satanists and happy together. However, it does interfere with his side of the family: I remember the first time I was going to meet his family (Catholics) and I had to wear a hoodie over one of my tarot card shirts. There is still a little discomfort from them when I wear those particular pieces of clothing but I asked them to judge me as a person and not my religious preference. My fiancé however has not come out yet to his family as a Satanist. I would love to have a satanic wedding but I know family members from both sides of our families would not attend. I myself have had conflict with my family over my beliefs, especially when I was pregnant. Satanism has brought us closer and we are happily engaged and we have our little beautiful family. Geo Linder: I live in Nebraska, and if you aren’t a god-fearing Christian, you’re the devil. I used to not tell my suitors about my beliefs unless they specifically asked, but very recently I said “fuck that.” If they can’t respect what I think and believe, they’re not worth my time. I am currently in a very loving relationship with a very open-minded Catholic man (who is actually from the Bay Area); he accidentally found out when we were FaceTiming and he saw my Sigil of Baphomet. After having to explain myself and my stances, he was very interested and didn’t mind, especially after calming his fears of human sacrifice. Yes, our beliefs are vastly different, but it leads to very educated, open, and civil discussions and helps us get a better understanding of each other. Brittany: So I told my mom, who told my grandma, who told everyone else, and now I’m disowned and don’t talk to my uncles or aunts. My grandma finally understood what I was explaining about how we don’t worship Satan; my mom and siblings were always cool with it. I think what makes it worse is I already came out as lesbian and now I’m a Satanist, so they really don’t want me around. It is a first date convo for me, I don’t like getting into a talking phase before I say what I am. Lots of people don’t like or accept Satanists, so I’d rather get it out in the open first. Satanist Next Door: I’ve usually ended up with partners who are pagan, Wiccan, or atheists. Christians tend to stay far away from me due to their own superstitions and misconceptions. I recently had an experience in a small town where the residents were harassing my girlfriend for "associating with devil worshippers." It wasn't the main reason we parted ways, but it certainly didn't help. I moved to a different town and now have a girlfriend who is supportive of my "faithlessness." Jodie: A couple of years ago I came out of a 13-year relationship which I have since come to realize was emotionally abusive. If I had discovered Satanism during the relationship, I would have hidden it from my then-partner, as he would have been entirely dismissive of it. Being newly single in my 30s is actually liberating, and I found Satanism and the tenets helpful in being able to express myself and learn. It's not a topic that came up in subsequent dating - my goal was to meet someone who shared my desire not to have children. But naturally that seemed to align with the types of guys I was interested in; when I met my current boyfriend, I had no issues bringing it up with him. He's Irish and on paper is Catholic, but that's where it ends. He encourages me to be my best self, to get tattoos if I want them, to express myself. He's not really interested in Satanism, but it's wonderful to have met someone who encourages me to live deliciously. Alex: Satanism has been an integral part of my life for years. My wife had always seemed like she was okay with it, even embraced it to a certain point. She would buy me things for my altar and we would discuss Satanism openly. Very recently, we separated; it was brought to light that she had always hated the fact that I was a Satanist. Both of us were raised Catholic and unfortunately I think her still-Catholic mother got into her head because she began saying things like I was bringing "dark" energy into my house. Katiya: My most recent relationship completely imploded due to my Satanic faith. It was a traditional American love story, American trans Satanist meets African Muslim and a lesbian affair is ignited. Her friends and family were completely fine with me being a trans woman and her being in a lesbian relationship, but me being a Satanist was the line that couldn't be crossed. She kept trying to hide my religion from them. I wasn't willing to hide my faith, she wasn't willing to accept it and alas things ended. Miles: I met my partner through Satanic Bay Area. We both independently attended [and still attend] SBA meetings and events and after meeting each other over time we eventually started to date. Satanism brought us together and is something we share in our relationship. Though I have experience being in relationships with differing religious backgrounds, I do appreciate sharing similar religious beliefs with my partner. Dev: I'm a gay Satanist and my partner is a non-religious atheist. Religion isn't a big part of our relationship at all, as my partner has zero interest in any religion. I love him very much just the way he is and the fact that he isn't a Satanist doesn't bother me one bit. He isn't bothered by Satanism, even though he says he finds it a little weird. I get my Satanic fill from podcasts, Discord discussions, online videos, books and the occasional local Satanic gathering and Black Mass. When my partner isn't around and I'm feeling Satany and Witchy, I will perform a ritual or meditate or a combination of both. I honestly prefer doing those things on my own. Satanism hasn't brought us together, but it also hasn't caused any rifts either. Ryan: I identify as Satanic because of a first date: After a few cocktails we discovered our mutual love of horror, metal, Satanic values, and general debauchery. It turns out this woman coincidentally had bartended in Salem and met Lucien, along with other TST members. She explained that TST is a unique sect of Satanism; prior to that night I hadn’t realized that the cool folks who put up Baphomet statues were unique from the Church of Satan. I finally realized I should identify as a Satanist before an atheist, instead of vice versa. I've used dating apps in the south, but at first didn’t explicitly state my religion. When I eventually did I was surprised by how many women explicitly identified that as their immediate attraction. I have no problem bringing it up on the first date, if it’s applicable to our conversation. FloFloFlomingle: I don’t have it under my dating profiles, but do have it on my Instagram. I usually don’t mention it until after the first date, [and then] only if religion comes up. They are usually taken aback, but I explain the tenets and they calm down. I make sure to not date people practicing Christianity/god-based religions because I feel will cause most conflict. My ex was Catholic, but only when convenient. He never had an issue with it but it did take him a bit to get used to the religious elements and holidays. Another ex seemed interested in joining, but we broke up shortly afterwards. Jarod: Where I live, if you’re a Satanist, you live a rather lonely life. The last girl I was with didn't know until she seen my pentagrams and things; it winded up causing conflict with her mother. She wanted me to pretty much leave my religion, and I said no. In this town, if you don't hold up for Christianity no one wants anything to do with you, and those who are satanist in my area or even in Indiana are pretty much suppressed. If there are more Satanists in my state, not many show it. 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