{The Suite Escape.}

Enter The Multiverse x Legends x LOSC x Acension x Deathwish x Secret President x Gerald's Workd x Tales of A Superstar DJ x The Suite Life of Sunnï Blū / The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū ... did I miss something? probably oh well. so far, on all these shows: [The Legend Returns] Really Bad Mixtape (Might as well get it out of the way now) Killst_rr (Instrumental) Sleep Deprivation Sequence You're not you when you're not you. Hoe_math Exactly what it sounds like. [UnderWorld.] R-R 1 -rarity. [i Come Undone.] AtPLAY Live Mix [Autopilot.] {A Star Is Born.} For fear of fire; Best not to wander off, With no back track– Might have forgotten the rest, but It wasn't a poem, or part of a song At least, not yet Fuck man. I really want to sample this. Can't sample deadmau5; he's a bitch about paperwork. You cant technically say that. I mean, I technically didnd't. Just let your fingers do the talking. Ooh, look at that one. What are you doing. Some online shopping. For what. A man-thing. You're better off letting your back end Handle the conversation Then again, When in search of a venue Anything with the proper connections And stereo systems Will do in the moment. What do you want? To get rid of my hiccups. That's it: *huccups* yu-p. Wow, that's– Have you ever thought about just– I've thought about just about everything–that's how you got here. I'm gonna go ahead and admit–there's too much going on in my head. It's a lot. I'm gonna need a nap. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. *sheath/ swoard* Is that the sword of skrillex. Yeus. Give it to me. *stabs in thigh* Oooh. Not the balls! fair. Around the world we go Around we go again Here we are Oh no, It's the same song Over and over I'd like you to love to today (I'd love to forget for a moment I haven't) I know before long, we get older and older All wrong, It's the same one, Over and over. Have you seen my butt plugs? NO! GROSS. It's alright. I'll just pick some up on the way. AGGH. Better yet, can you just put in the order on amazon AmAZoN. Yes. (I'm so happy Amazon has anal plugs.) Please stop now. You're being a baby about this–just- You know what. Nevermind. I'll do it myself. Please do that. Siri– Oh my God. Alexa–reorder from Amazon. Come on focus. …hmm…now what was I doing? A B L E T O N *spinning rainbow wheel of doom* …seems like it was something. Come on….FOCUS. Hm. When's the last time you had a marshmello. Flashback: [BONFIRE: Burning The Skrillex] *Also making smores* CUT BACK TO: Like never, I'm vegan. PASQUALE WAKE. UP. Holy shit. It's you again. It's always me. Last time you were like 26. Well, now i'm this age. Wait, how old are you. Wouldn't you like to know. There's a lot of things i'd like to know about you, Pasquale, that's not even near the top of the list. Speaking of “top of the list”-- I do have a lot of things to do today. Oh yeah, what's that? I don't know. A bunch of crap. Speaking of crap– This is a lot of speaking. Happy Birthday. What is this. It's Captain Crunch. Yes it is. What is it doing in my lap. That's your lunch. I–no, it isn't. It is. No, i'm vegan. Well, that's the “happy” part in “happy birthday” No… Yes, actually. This is – It is– Vegan. Damn. Jinx. You owe me a Pererier. Shut up. Or a LaCroix. I'll taka a LaCroix. You're so LA. I guess that makes you Beverly Hills– Or Pacific Palisades. Is that Annexed. It is “LA” What else is in this? No animal product… “Yellow 6” It reads! What happened to yellow 1-5? A whole story. Yes, but not a whole food. “Yellow 6?!” That's the chemical complex you need to find yourself in the right dimension. Exactly. What's wrong with this dimension? What isn't? I'm in it! You're in it! Like I said. What– Just eat it. Ugh– happy trails. *disappears* Ugh. I gave that dude too much money. Fuck, what was I doing again. Deadmau5. Uhm, no i was– Deadmau5. Deadmau5. OOOOOH> YES. I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER. Stop it. YOU STOP IT. I KNOW IT'S YOU. Who is it? STOP IT. Stop–doing that. I know you're deadmau5. I most certainly am not. I know its you. I have boobs. How did you do this. I did–n't. That's right. Fuck, what happened. Nothin. Now I gotta kill my stupid brother. You have a brother?! SKRILLEX. GET IN HERE. Fuck, run. I gotta go. Go where. Uhm. Somewhere else. DILLON, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE. IT WAS NEVER FUNNY. (It was funny to me.) God does have a sense of humor. AHAH–AHAHA–HAHAHA. As it turns out, not the absolute best sense of humor. Oh—he's okay! He's okay! No, he's dead. He's definitely dead. But a sense of humor, nonetheless. Fuck man. What did you do to Dillon Francis. Nothing. I just got him drunk On what?! Cyanide? Okay, I don't even know what that is. He's a corpse. –but a pretty one. C'mon. Be serious. I can't. Why not. It's hilarious, kinda. This isn't funny. No, it's hilarious. He earned it. He “earned” it? Well, yes– He is dead. I mean, it's a long story; but he brought it upon himself, honestly. “Honestly” Please. PLease. Please. No, I said. PLEASE. I SAID NO. What's this story. That's ten. I win. Fuck. DILLOn WAkE UP. *smacks* ahah. I think it's working I think he's waking up. He's not waking up. He must be. He's laughing. He's not laughing He said “haha' *smacks* haha . See. *smacks* Mm. This shit smacks HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKSSSS. Oh shit, is this the 90s. HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKSSS. *slams* GIMMIE MY HONEY SMACKS. That's it. There's no more. AW, COME ON. Sorry, that's all there is. WHAT. But yu can have captain crunch. I DON'T WANT CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I WANT HONEY SMACKS. I'm sorry, there are no more Honey Smacks. You can have Captain Crunch, or Shredded Wheat. GRAMPA Shredded Wheat is MY favorite. Ugh. Mm. Honey Smacks. I HATE YOU. Be nice to your brother. Lol. Everything about Dillon's eyes makes him devastating. Who plays tiny Dillon? I don't know. There are like nine in the script. It shouldn't be hard to cast. We'll go to utah. Fucking. I hate Utah. WELCOME TO UTAH. Nice. Alright, well, what other grounds are there to cover, here? DILLOn FRANCIS I am not doing this project. Of course you are–it's in your contract. What contract. The one you signed. Which–no–I didn't. But you did. SUNNI BLU I got you a drink. DILLON FRANCIS That looks fruity. SUNNI BLU Try it. DILLON FRANCIS *sips* DILLON FRANCIS CONT'D What's in this. Just– drink it. SUNNI BLU Don't look at me like that. DILLOn FRANCIS Like what. SUNNI BLU Do you need a mirror? DILLON FRANCIS I– SUNNI BLU Look down. DILLON FRANCIS *does* SUNNI BLU *flicking nose* Made you look. haha . DILLOn FRANCIS Wow. [takes drink] SUNNI BLUThat's the spirit. But literally there's a mirror between your feet, if you need one. [there literally is] SUNNI BLU CONT'D The floor is made of mirrors DILLOn FRANCIS *suddenly inebriated* Oh wow. SUNNI BLU The whole club turns into a disco ball. DILLON FRANCIS *suddenly very inebriated* That's–convenient. SUNNI BLU It is. SHIA DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS. If my dreams were not just dreams, everyone in here would have a lawsuit against me. A lot of us do. Carry on, then. SKRILLEX BLAIGH. Oh shit, its you again. I swear to God, I thought I killed this nigga. Are you sure it was him? SKRILLEX !!!! No. Alright, i've almost got it. Almost got what. This whole– thing. Oh. –and–it's gone. Really, that quick. I don't think you understand what's happening. You're right, i don't understand what's happening at all. Oh shit. I'm deadmau5. Nice. Fuck it, lets do some trolling. Alright alright. BUT FIRST, COFFEE. Fuck dude, I don't think I should have anymore coffee. Too late. deadmau5. ok . Deadmau5. Nice. D–0 DOn'T D o THis, I'M WARNING YOU. …. If you open that portal, there's no going back. *opens portal* Now you've done it. *goes into portal* Fuck. *portal closes neatly* *facepalm* *entire series of cosmos collapse in the great distance–time begins to stretch and bend uncontrollably* Come on, just let me lick the balls. NO. I'll give you a cookie. well … OH my GAWD. What. Come here, you have to see this. What the fuck is that. I don't know. Should i pick it up? No, don't touch it! He picked it up. Oh, gross. What is this. I don't know. I think it's fanfiction. Who wrote it. Idk. somefangirl. Fangurl. FaNGiRls. Well, Hey, at least i'm not a groupie. OH COME ON, JUST LET ME SUCK IT. GET AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE. i'LL GIVE YOU $40. -well. NOW, A COMMERCIAL BREAK. Since when does this show have commercials. It doesn't. I want to talk to Jimmy Fallon. That's–not happening. Why not. JIMMY FALLON BECAUSE I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NBC. There he is– Nice. JIMMY FALLON YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I AM A FAMILY MAN, OKAY. Is that like Family Guy? By Chance?! SETH MCFARLENE (with super long hair) *crossing fingers* I'm hoping so. JIMMY FALLON Not even close! SETH MCFARLENE *snaps* Dammit. Oh, I get it. It's like–The Cofffee run Which “coffee run” THE coffee run. We'll have to admit, it's probably the most watched coffee run of all time. Of all of them. You know what? Fuck it, fire me. I'm doing this show. What?! JImmy. Why on EARTH would you ever agree to something like this. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER Because–it's my duty. Yo. You know that song that everybody knows? You know the song because everybody knows this song. It goes: Lovin you– is easy cause youre beautiful. do - do- do - do- do- do- do… Yeah. You know that song. But you probably don't know who sings it. I'll tell you who sings it. That song is by an artist called Minnie Ripperton. That's a mouthful. Yeah, one hell of a name, huh. Well, that's the lady who sings the song. It's Minnie Riperton. Now, let me tell you something else you probably don't know: Something I probably wouldn't know if I wasn't a DJ But i know this, because I'm a DJ AND MAYA RUDOLPH WAUT A MINUTE. What the fuck, Maya Rudoph, are you doing in my bathroom at 5 AM It's 1:15 in the afternoon. I'm a DJ. It's 5 AM. That's making sense. I know it is. What's not making sense. Is why you're in my bathroom drinking a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. So it is. *slurps milkshake* *sitting on toilet* *slurps* What do you want. You want to know what I want? Apparently, a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. OK. OK. OK so what. Finish the script. –What? Fuck dude, how does this song sound good every time? Congratulations, you've gone entirely insane. beep-boop . [DJ] B00p beep. [Music Producer] Beep-beep. 0.c. Do not fall dangerously in love; Do not pass go Do not collect $200 Or any of it For any reason, For any of it For any of them Just keep it pushin; Just keep it private Just hold it all in and Do not let go Do not fall in love Do not pass go Do not unload Do not walk Do not cross here Do not It smells like butter. But you're vegan. I know. Do you think you're having a stroke. God, I fucking hope so. GOD You WHAT. I want to die. GOD I thought i heart you right. You heard me right–a THOUSAND times. I want to die. Take me out of this life. GOD Not until you make dubstep. WHAT. GOD You gotta make a grammy-winning dubstep album. I what. GOD Or at least nominated. No, I don't. GOD Beg your pardon. I'm not begging. GOD What are you getting at, hon? Look; Am I not one with the source? GOD Uhm–you are. Alright, Then: everything is everything. GOD Yes. And everyone is everyone. GOD This is true. So i'm Skrillex. GOD Skrillex is Skrillex So I Am. GOD … And I already won a grammy. GOD … Like a bunch of them, right. GOD Uh. So technically– GOD YOu know what. I can't argue with that logic. This isn't ableton. No. This is Logic. What the fuck. That's not Serato. No, that's Rekordbox. What the fuck is this. These are CDJs. There's no hot cues! What the fuck is a “HOT CUE” This is not food. What the fucking sauce. I'm warning you, Pasquale. Get off my lawn. THIS IS MY HOUSE. Your house it is not. *House music starts blasting* *lasers* sprinklers* dancers* WHAT THE FUCK. It's voice activated, I just– How did you do this?! What. WHAT DID YOu DO. AND WHEN. I don't know! I just took the delorean, like you said. You were supposed to find Dillon Francis. I did! The problem was, when I found the right one, he was dead! What? He's dead? Presumably! What do you mean by that!? It's a long story! WELL, HOW LONG? SUNNI BLU About as long as my dick! WHO IS THAT. I told you it's a long story. Well, let me in! Sorry Pasquale. No Can do. What. Why not. Cause you're on a federal watch list. What. Yeah. Sorry. Wait… You should probably leave before the feds get here. What? Unless you want to stay and party on the lawn but–not recommended. This is bizarre. The police arrive, surrounding Pasquale on the yard–moving in to arrest him. WAIT. SUPACREE turns away from the window; inside, a room full of her aliases sit looking somewhat miserably; SUPACREE!!! [Pasquale is handcuffed and i dragged off of the lawn] SUPACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Careless, Acoustic–deadmau5 SUPACREE pours a bowl of captain crunch, taking one colossal bite and sits down in THE CONTROL ROOM at a large computer console; inhaling from a can of nitrous oxide. I'm the worst DJ ever. SUPACREE places the fames deadmau5 helmet atop her head and begins working at the computer promptly, clicking away; Now is deadmau5 I don't even know what key this song is in. MEOWINGTONS, Alive and well purrs and stretches, then settles atop SUPACREE/deadmau5's lap. This is insane. I don't know what's happening. END CREDITS. V. O. Lovin' You, Minnie Ripperton </> Carless, deadmau5 idk how i'm gonna mix that. Trust me. Anything can be mixed. Anything. [When it] Turns out, The bottom of your heart Was the tip of the Ice Berg And the whole ship has [s]unk[en], [&] I[t]'s probably ice cold At the bottom of the ocean; I'll tell you where i'm from Why, I'll tell you anything for About one dollar Turns out, I've already got one eye on you; One eye'd sad heart I should probably roll out my art on you [I probably should not] One man bought a kiss, Another, a whole night from her– One man bought a whole farm The other, a Whole Foods Market –and you can't even franchise those Amazon's got a monopoly We were playing for corners of earth, All i got was some kandi, Subscriptions to candidly, Actually, I really liked the tree trial (I think i'll wait a week, sorry) When it turns out The world that you wanted Was actually hours already The dollar you got Was also borrowed And the money they wanted and got Was just actually stolen from someone else They bought all the food up And sold it for profits I promise this avocado Once costs nothing at all But you wanted that car for your daughter She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it My mom, on my honor Of all the garages in Lost Lands, I promise the owner of it was The first to go last, And the last to come home Now he's on his own alter And also the worshiper; How do you go back? Oh, you don't Oh you don't Oh, you don't wanna know that But i was of course, All of your rock bottoms It's bottoms and tops, and We don't let the top fall over, We're counting up crumbs And this muffin costs $24 dollars Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks For the dead homies Not dead in the general sense But just in the head, the heart, And the soul The homeless are happier at McDonalds Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere I'll avoid the power struggle at operations for about 18 dollars and 56 sense (Please, keep the pennies) I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's Something indecent, or decadent Whichever it is Cause i'm better of with the memory of it Than actually dragging it in. –I'm a cat again. Ouch. Shut up. It HURTS. Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics. YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid. Yes, but lucily for you– –or, for him– Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid. –Ouch– –Shut up. That we know of. George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* Lookie here boys: What is it? –I'm leaving. Oh, you're gonna wanna hear this. What. I found the first “whites only” water fountain since 1962. Okay, what do you want? A deal. Oh, I'll give you a deal. Cash up front. [He presents a one dollar bill] Is this enough. [beat] Where are you going with this? Nowhere, fast. YO. What now, dude. SHE'S ONTO US. I doubt that. Look at this. I highly doubt– *gaaassp* Shenanigans! You know what I like about you, Ariana? Everything. Hah. Hm. You know how to keep a secret. I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly. *rolls eyes, flips hair.* Well, here's another one for you. –Another what? This is how my darkness becomes your darkness. I already have enough on my own. I know. You don't know. Only God knows. MOM! Don't ask me again. This is heavy, Doc. What is it? The soup! It's too heavy. Too much cream? Way too much! I have a meeting! Meeting with who? The Hollywood People. When? Soon–what time is it? I don't know. Dammit! Why don't you have any clocks in your house? I only just recently remembered what a clock was. Oh! Here. [God produces a small pocket watch and presents it to him; it's nearly noon on EARTH; But the two are sharing a meal of course in the famed kitchen of the Creator in the TImeless VOID.] Ah, Jesus Christ! He's not here… I'm gonna be late. Now, now; You know I wouldn't let that happen– [a smug look| Hugs and Kisses. [As they embrace, he disappears into a mist of light and stardust, fading away from the void and into the exterior world; he realizes God has slipped him the watch; he flips it open to reveal the time: it is now 11:44] Amazing. V.O. Now you won't wait so long to visit. [He places the wach in his pocket and walks into the studio] MICHAEL J. FOX has been asked to reprise his role as MARTY MCFLY many times before; But never for a project like this. ____ Meanwhile, What am I going to do with you? [The Festival Project.™] YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! –I'm dead to everyone! Don't do this. You wanted to come to the other side. No, I didn't. We'll you're here anyway; Might as well stay awhile. With eyes like burning fire And saddles for the riders The horse begins to gallop (or the horses, rather) On the mark to beating drums To move them forward faster What the fuck is this. idk. Kx5. *-* !_! Here u go Wat is this. it's a dragon. Oh, thats nice. Ya. Whats it do. Idk. dragon things. ok. Don't put it in ur bathroom. Why. idrk. Hm. † Hey. Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away. It's me, Ryan! No, Get out! I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade! Gross! It's just Ryan! I promise! NO. GET OUT. Lmfao. Right. This show is fantastic. Who was that. Fucking–Kaskade again! Are you sure. Ugh. Looks like Ryan. Kaskade is Kaskade. {shrugs] Dudes a creep. “Kaskade Ruins Lives” Is this the same episode as before? Eventually, yes. Wasn't I doing something Are you goona let this go? Um. Well I'm fucked. Why, what happened. Obsidian. That should do Unsobsidian. Okay, i'm fucked, Well, what's this? An Oreo Cookie. I mean, sitting next to it. Oh, its a portal gun. Raves are not just raves– A party is not simply a “party” –These big festivals –they're diversions. –DIstractions. Distractions from what. If you were supposed to know, –you'd know. it wouldn't be so important that you go. Why is it? These ancient rituals… It's occult magic. They've got it down to a science. The government funds this. The government funds everything. WoooooooW. It's not really a secret, if you can google it. ‘-complications.' I'm lost somewhere, gone HIppopatamus feeling quite off in the galaxies, galavanting Gazing at Daisies Aces and spades Gone from Heaven to Hades for days On the A– Adjacent Recently dismantling adjectives, Lampshades and matching curtains God it hurts, every day that I think about you; But how can i be about you when You don't even see me, do you Signature consignments, Wrong environments and irony is, I wasn't invited– –but invented it WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Great, now I have to explain myself. You don't have to. What's this space for? Oh, that's the red room. [The Red Room] Well, obviously, but– But what? What's it for? I don't think anybody should read this. HEY. Participation Only– Oh! No peeking! You ever feel like you're doing too much? Yeah, but not for money. Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to– deadmau5 . What? No– DEADMAU5. Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat? It was a mouse. I know the difference. Do you, though? Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City. So. In Queens. Oh. That's mathematically impossible. I mean it's not–impossible. No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible. Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science? What is this. Just–enjoy the rave. No. What is this. Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC… NO. What is this right here. BEFORE: Hey, you still got that balloon? Yeah. Lemme see it. Dude, what are you doing? …I'mma go catch me a DJ. THIS IS NUTS. I can't feel my face. What do you call this? Collateral Damage. Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom. ok . And–uhh– and. Uhh– Why did you call me over here. Cause i can. Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo” Voodoo is magic. It's just music. W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O I don't know. Fuck dude, I fucked up. Once again– Of course you did. What did you do this time? I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass. Nice. Way to go. Yeah. Wait. … Did you just say. HE JUST He deserted me. SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE? ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT? JEFF Alright, lets go. WHO DID THIS. So what's this place. Lets not let this conversation resurface. This is a 21 Plus Event. What about VIP VIP is 25 Plus. What about that place. Sorry kids. [NO ENTRY] We gotta get in there. So then they wanted an Encore. Did you give them an encore? NO, i was already at my hotel room. Then how did you know that they wanted an encore? WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE. FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER. Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC? Have you literally never been out with rich people? No, I literally just got rich. Oh, nice. So, wait, like– Here we go. Dillon Francis has just always been rich? Uh-huh. And Skrillex has always been rich? Yes. Definitely. And deadmau5. deadmau5 is Canadian. OH MY GOD. W E L C O M E I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this. Alright. Sign this waiver. …this is a…pretty heavy packet. I'll wait. I've never signed an NDA like that in my life. Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon. And like, everyone knows what it means. Everyone knows what an NDA is. I appreciate the sentiments Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically? Autopilot, go. Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot. You're on autopilot. I don't really have to think about it anymore, I'll have to sleep on it Wear a white t-shift, Hear the applause of the audience, Eat it You wanna know what I think? You want to know what I'm drinking? You know what I need? An Icee, (cause I see you typing) An awful Omnipotence A God of Mirages No more carbohydrates, I gotta get all thin; Forgot to acknowledge Whether or not i'm turning this off soon I are. I…”are” I are. Infinite Reality. OH. I. R. IR! IR! IRV I ARE. Suddenly, I remember the taste of talcum powder As If I were Moving backwards In time, Like, Why, God on earth would My mom let me try that, But if i'm honest, Fuck man, I hate deadmau5– There's just too much in here. Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple. What is this, MATH?! THIS IS AERODYNAMICS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS DId you mean what you said about that? I meant everything I said. Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem In realtime, listening to deadmau5 Having a partially out of body spiritual experience, Entirely fucking sober FACEPALM BLŪ 8facepalming dramatically in frustration* NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS. beepboop. YO. Oh, I forgot my open form poetry, or my mom How my mom once allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder But who can blame her That was a hard one It was a past life And now ive Got Another One HOly shit what version of the cube is this. 1D. What. You'll get it. Wait. Have you ever stopped for a minute to think– I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think” [Literally stops for a minute to think.] No fucking way, uh-uh. Come on, man. No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5. Come on– NO. –that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place. Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this. What are you doing. Voluntary Ego Death. I– Wait. Why would you. Get out of my brain. I am your brain. Take care, now. Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil. That's because she's definitely more evil ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS: WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX. MEANWHILE INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY. *rings doorbell* AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME. I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question. Oh. Fuck. What dude. We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into. Are you serious? It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude. What do you mean he “left the dimension” He entered a portal. He– wait, excuse me. A portal. A “portal”, dude? Yeah; a portal. What do you mean “a portal” A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal. Uh huh. Excuse us for a second. What the fuck is this dude talking about? I don't know, man. Humans don't use portals! I know man. What the fuck! Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human. He looks human. Yeah dude but, we look human. Duh! Cause we shifted! Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter. Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one. Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good. I highly doubt that. Why? Cause I'm the best. No, I am. Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters! Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right? I hope not. No, not like that—like Okay, okay, whatever, let's just… Wait, where'd he go? Excuse me. What up. There was just another guy over here just now— He was like—you know—normal looking guy Tie die* shirt Yeah. Did you see him. Yeah, I saw him. Alright, cool, where'd he go? He left. What?! That was fast! Yeah, well…it happens. Are you sure? Yes. *actually is shifter* [as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.] Awww, dammit, Now we're never gonna find this guy. Never say never. Whatever, we're dead. We're always dead. Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms Oh, yeah, that. Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this. It is useless. *enters portal potty* [ Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis? That's great, I was just getting to that. 19 Pages. Nice. …no, 12. What. [11:12] Okay, I'm gonna kill him. Oh, I banished him. With my fists. Nice. Tits. Nice tits. Thx. Hey man. Hey what. Remember that smudge on the lens. Yeah. It just got bigger. … did you try vinegar instead of Windex. Yes. –IT'S NOT A SMUDGE. Did you try Windex with Vinegar. –IT'S NOT A– Shut up. I'm. So. Hungry. Look, do you want this, or not? Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence? Just quit, it. Dillon Francis. WHERE IS IT? I don't know. Lets kick this up a notch. ILLUMINATI What do you want? … I want the full package. ILLUMINATI Okay, I'm gonna need specifics. How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati? [INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING] Hm. It was a pretty specific list. I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan Well, The Mayor eats fish. Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of? I don't know. We meet in the Matrix. This is for you. Oh. Do you like it? I– It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only! YOu BUY a Membership. Yeah. And WOMEN. HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO. SHHH. Oh no. What. What did you do? I gave her my credit card. The Heavy One? Yes, and– “AND” –access to the black market. Cool, I got it. Oh, another auction. Of course another auction. What'd you buy this time? A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead. What are you gonna do with that? Wouldn't you like to know. Ok, gross. LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans, It's a comfortable, safe space. Very inviting. Everyone is happy. What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest. Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya. Hey, I'm looking for this shithead. Oh, that dude? Yeah, have you seen him? Fuck, I wish this never happened. LIL BIIIIITz If you don't know who deadmau6* is– GET OUT. Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen. Maybe just to me, but. Are you sure that's the right guy? Yeah, that's gotta be him. Is he wearing glasses? Ugh. Oh wait. Damn. ‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think' Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind– Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music. Are you sure this is real? No. I love this. Just shut up and do your job. What a nightmare. PLease HElP ME. Hm. That can't be right. What. This translates to H E L P M E Oh, shit, I gotta go. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm always working. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm at work. Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here. Where are you going? To shoot myself. Wow, that's one hell of a smile. Just–take it. I'm sorry, i can't accept this. What is even happening in this series? Like, a lot WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN. *not settling down* *lil biiiiiiiitz* You know what I wonder? I wonder this I'm sober. I'm just sober sally over here. I didn't get sober. I just am. Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning Or–just–whenever– To wake up whenever and be like “OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE” And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again. ‘OH NOOOOOO” *gets faded* “It's all goooooood” No, it isn't. But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a It's not even a happy medium, It's more like a median-medium But you know what? It makes happier moments more happy And shitter moments less shitty Because i don't have this like drastic spacial Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy. I get to feel things way more intensely. I don't have to wonder, ever “oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up” Or like “would it have happened this way if I was sober” At all. I'm just level– No false sense of Pretty much anything. But i do wonder, though– Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then GOT sober– like , what's the breaking point What's the tip? I always have to sit back and wonder “What did you DO?” Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly “I don't drink anymore” I always wonder, and it's like– no disrespect or anything thing but… I really wanna hear that story. lol . I know you don't wanna tell it (if you can) But wanna hear it. Cause from my point of view. IT's probably hilarious. I know. I'm a dick. Holy shit. What is that. Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year. …is that a penis? WELCOME HOME It's a giant dick- in-the-sky! GOD IS REAL! JESUS Look, so i've been having second thoughts about this whole thing. What the fuck man. You gotta stop doing shit like this. JESUS I literally can't. I know, but. Okay, look. I'm not writing any of that. You've gotta tell him. NO, RYAN. WELL, WHY NOT. BECAUSE, RYAN. WHY. DEADMAU5 ISN'T REAL. Damn, am I in here. Nice. Of course I am. Well, how'd that happen. This is like a sea of cellphones. Perfect. It was a red car; I wasn't all there, And if you want her, You can have her Fuck. What. I forgot the rest of the verse. It's ok. We gotta move on. No, I gotta go back. For what. For my fans. Aw. What's this. IT's a ceramic mug. Wow, that's nice. I made it Wait. You made that?! Yeah. With your hands?! Yeah. Why would you do that? For you. What. I made it for you? Like, you thought of me first, then you made it? Yeah. WHY? Cause i love you! WOW. Fans are awesome OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *Sometimes. *vomits* … *dies* … *godlessness* [Devastating DJ Moments] I don't get it dawg, all this shit is in your music particles?! “Music particles” UGH. what . That's it. Don't be smart around me. Uh. I'm not smart? No, that won't work; sarcasm is a sign of deeper intelligence. “Sorry” Stop saying that. This is America. S– Don't say it again. Apology not accepted. Don't look at me like that. Like what. With your face. *face* Quick: Say something stupid and random. …I like anime. Oh good, that worked. Thanks. Where are you going? Idk somewhere else. Really, that's it? Yeah. That's all you have to say/ That's literally it. Are you seeing this. Yes. So what's the problem. Oh no, she's stuck in a loop. Throw the whole fan away. [DELETE] Did it work. Did what work. Oh, good. Cool. Wait. See ya later. Did what work? I wish i could just forget about this. Everything? Yeah. Look, this is between me and God–okay? GOD Don't drag me into this. You dragged ME into this! GOD Right. So i could get OUT; So don't drag me back in. Fuck, I remember this. I must have done something important here. Like what. Look, I love you. Great, now what do we do? Bury the body, I guess. *shrugs* Wait, what happened? Somebody dies. OKay, me first. Other Three: Who wants to go next. *still in shock* Fuck man, told you this was a long ass story. *Crying* I'm ruined. What! You went broke? No, i'm still a filthy rich millionaire. I thought you were a billionaire. I am I just *snifs* sometimes I forget that happened. “Sometimes I forget I'm a billionaire” I got to admit, man, I did it to myself. I'm not mad, or anything, but now there's just–certain things I can't do Oh, like what. Not that song. What, why not? You said “anything but Skrillex” this is not Skrillex, this is deadmau5. What's the difference? Okay, that's like saying “What's the difference between deadmau5' and my music?” No, it isn't. How is that not different? That's like comparing the music of Bach and Beethoven to the music of a tattooed hedgehog. You think I look like a hedgehog. No, it's just when I see you and a hedgehog I have all the same thoughts, turn this off. NO, i like this song. Seriously, Dillon Francis, turn it off. I'm gonna turn it up instead. I do not highly recommend doing that. Or at all. This ship has amazing subs. Should I bass boost this song. NO, PROBABLY NOT. Oh, why not? Dillon Francis, I'm warning you, stop. OH HOW COME BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A HEDEHOG NO, BECAUSE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP AT THIS *DROP* [INSTANTLY FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL–ACTIVATES HYPERSPACE– PLUMMETS SHIP INTO BLACK – HOLE. ohhhhh . What a hoe. Nice, that's a whole episode. Well, here's a bonus scene or whatever. Shazam, what is this. SHAZAM …i don't know. What do you mean you don't know. SHAZAM *panicing* IDONNO WHAT DO YOU MEAN– SHAZAM IDON. NO. OOOOOOOOOOOO Is this deadmau5. I'm not sure. Sounds like deadmau5. It sure does. This is pretty Ooh. it sparkles. yeah , it's deadmau5. How does she KNOW. I need a deadmau5 machine like right now. I know where to find that. Fuck dude, everything's gonna be half-ass until I push out this album. You can't rush it. Trust the process. I can't focus. Oh shit, wasn't this in the last episode? Yeah. I'm still writing backwards. God, what is that, like a pipe organ. WHAT SYNTH IS THIS. Doesn't matter, I just need one. That's it. I know what I'm going to spend my Jimmy Fallons On. And What's that? V.O. OOh. Are we Montaging–to deadmau5? [MONTAGE: deadmau5] Nice. I love a good montage. I love deadmau45* AHH OH NO. I love deadmau5. I keep making typos and I keep forgetting to delete that parallel where. fuckit. That's the synth I've always wanted. It's on sale for $999 At Sam Ash But…you only have Five JImmy Fallons. There are only five special edition in this Volume The Jimmy Fallon 555's I don't know how many volumes there are, but this is the Volume I started keeping track. Fuck, man. I miss Equinox. It's just Eucalyptus. They also have an outdoor running track where you get the best ever view of midtown manhattan. How do you know it's the best ever view of Midtown manhattan. Because it's on a running track. STOP WHISTLING IN MY WHOOP=WHOOPS. The JImmy Fallon 555s are marked with the standard Jimmy Fallon in black ink With a simple side marker of the number 555 in red And also in red, a telephone number on the back. But–that synthesizer is One Thousand Jimmy Fallons. Yeah. So I only need Nine Hundred Ninety Five More. And of course, the Eye of Providence is highlighted. Also Standard. V.O. I always highlight that. Cause, you know… “Illuminati” These are fake. No they're not! They're counterfeit, sorry. No they're not! They're authentic! Why the fuck does this matter so much? You know. What is it with this dude. If it was a snake, it would've bit ya. It was a snake. And it did bite me. He's so increasingly beautiful to me, And I'm still in love with his friend, or misrepresented masterpiece, Progression of a monster, or procession of a superstar, but Something in the story sparks the thought of All we are is consciousness, of course Awkward in body, but of constellations Cosmos, It's not just a corpse; It's all got love in it, Absurd, and sipping carbonated syrup, but I'm just sitting in my stirrups, Here comes galloping a horse, Of course, it hurts to turn it off For just a moment And remember That i'm just a homeless, Stuck and sitting up at night Writing recourse, hugging learning curves in ableton, Curving curses, been reminded that I'm worthless In a thousand words or less, Or just another form of torture, Nothing said, but all that's done Another day another dollar, But it's not It's Jimmy Fallon. I thought this was enter the multiverse. Are you ready to go. No. A hand on my shoulder So paifully socially awkward, I grow stretchmarks, don't know what to call them But scars, But the uglier ones, I've thought Are invisible, Somewhat– To the naked eye Or just anyone Not tiger stripes But one, an eye of horus Carved above my right And inside my lip, (The bottom one) A raised scar in the shape of a sythe I probably died by the hands of a man named Starr So it's hard to shrug it off, And 555 is just a number But it's not It's another scar, It's a punishment For loving him. What's on the back. It's…a number. What number? A telephone number. What. Like a 1-800 Number Call it. I love deadmau5. Something about a big, giant smiling robotic mouse that lights up and sparkles. Why? I don't know. I'm like 5. I see deadmau5 i'm like “WHEEEEEEE” My hands go up in the air “AHHHHHH! YAYYYYY” I'm so stupid. It's so stupid. But you know what? It makes me feel good. I'm not gonna lie. I love it. And by the time I even figured out what deadmau5 was I was so late to the party that I had to make up for lost time. I listened to deadmau5 doing EvErYThING. Everything you could possibly imagine. Well–Except one. Wait, how long have you been cellibate? Forever, probably. Fuck, what happened in here? I don't know. Everything's broken. My head My heart. Everything. Get up, Dillon Francis. Fuck, what happened. You sent us through a black hole. And we crashed on a random ass planet. Fuck, that sucks. YOu suck, Dillon Francis. Ugh. Now get up. Everything's fucked up. SUPERSTAR DJ I'm a paradox. I've got a box of skeletons in my closet i'm not ready to part with. I had a heart attack; I had a heart once, But lately it goes in my pocket; Or my right hand, When I wake up From a dream land, From a long hug From a nice man In a t-shirt KASKADE This is God's PLAN. RYAN, GET FUCKED. 800-799-7233 Did you call the number. Yeah. What is it. [National Domestic Violence Hotline] Woah. That was a long bonus scene. Well, Now here's a PSA. AND A PSA? YES. A PSA. You know what the fucked up thing about all this is, The Legend of Supacree is a true story. All of it. ALL OF IT?! ALL OF IT!? YES. Even the part about– YES. Especially that part. Woah. Damn. I think i'm gonna be sick. Shut up, Dillon Francis. No, but seriously– This is the story of how I got my heart broken so bad. YOU RUINED IT. So, so bad– I HATE YOU. That i started singing about it. NSA, totally *not spying* …are you hearing this. Yes. ILLUMINATI Check this out. Another one down. And how when you start making music– What is this. it's hoe math. And that music actually comes from a really real place. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. really real shit starts happening. You–killed yourself. well , to be fair–I lost everything first. Congratulations. Thx. Here's a skrillex. WHT. Kbye. Really, really, really. What, the fuck Dillon Francis, crawled inside of you to live and made it'self at home? Idon'tknow. What is in this sauce? Just–kill him. What, i can't just. Just kill him, while nobody is watching. Please don't kill me. Shut up, man. I'm having a thought process. Okay, that's it. FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. That's the spirit. THAT IS THE SPIRIT. IT'S THE HOLY SPIRIT. Who the fuck is this. It's–Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ?! JESUS CHRIST i'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait, are you claiming that the second coming of the messiah is upon us?! YES. Well,Technically, it's the third. And it's all because of Dillon Francis?! I Please stop this HATE Help YOU. Fuck, dude. I know, huh. What did he DO. The third?! How did we miss that?! Uh, you didn't. [HITLER, being HITLER] (he was mad) Okay, that's it. You can't write any of this. Uh, I can. I just did. Technically, I'm dead: this is just a voiceover It's an 80's style PSA You can't say Hitler was the messiah. That's offensive. Everything is offensive. FUCK YOU DILLON. I'msosorry NOTYETYOU'RENOT. Wait, whatever happened to Skrillex. SKRILLEX is waiting outside of the alleged home of SUPACREE's “distant relatives” Lol is he for real at her mom's house. well , to be fair, he's like–looked everywhere else. Ur right. That was a lot of dimensions. So. like. Fuck, i didn't even have that much coffee. It just goes on forever. [DILLON FRANCIS STILL HAS HOTSAUCE IN HIS PUDGY LITTLE EYES] Good. Cause if I see the pupils, i'm wasting him. You think you can do better than this. Better than this? Yes. Yes. Then do it. Alright, is the PSA over? No, not yet. I gotta say one more thing. What is it? Would you ever have done it, Or would you ever be honest If you had, Handed her a lesson, Or a stretch of the past From the present moment, My heart, and my mind And my lover I present you this honor From now on to nowhere I no longer… Want to be near you Or to know you Or to hear you Or to fear you No longer… Want to feel you Or to touch you Or to have you Or to hold you Or to love you No longer, I no longer want you Devastating, A song stuck in my head for a whole world I wonder how long it would take to go back there A room full of actors, A manager, Never a backpack to wear Just a handful of hats, One director, Eventually producer Just now a showrunner Look at how long that took. I had to wonder what auroras in the north thought of someone like Sonny. They showed me. Now I can love you no longer So much for getting acquainted Funny what age equates to in ageless An infinite wisdom, I dismissed him, Nor, would I believe that he ever would hit her, but Some might belong in such a category Though i carry the marks and the scars Of what my once- husband did to me –but no longer. I haven't a heart in the world left But a broken one, made of amethyst. Fuck off, Dillon Francis. A calculated attack on my psyche. I like it a lot, But i'm fonder of sodom. WHAT. Are you saying you woul actually participate in an orgy! Oh GOD no! Oh, Good, cause– But i'd host one. WHAT. The hedonists are a fun bunch. Oh my God. Though, Nowadays, of course, I haven't the slightest idea what to call them. I saw the future. Well, obviously, if you've headlined EDC you've seen the future. I remember all of it. That must be awful. Why don't you remember it? Because i don't want to. Not at all. I did once. Then what happened? I hated it so much, i forgot. You forgot on purpose. I had to. Love, or Music. …Music. Love, or Fame. Fame. Okay, ouch. Love, or Music? …Love. Okay. Love, or Fame. Love. Okay. Love, or music? … Isn't that the same thing? Hm. Love, or Fame? ….Why do you keep asking me the same question. I beg your pardon? Why beg? I mean– What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, first you asked me, If would rather have Love or Music. Love. Music. Yes. In my mind, those are synonyms. Neither can really exist without the other. Okay, and Fame. Love and Fame are also synonyms– How so? Ugh, I just made this difficult on myself. It was always difficult. It really wasn't. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Yo My horizontal monster wants ya Could revert to vert, but lets keep Our options open Covert, __ My heart is broken No window open Who left the draft in –motherfucker My heart is broken I need a lover I need a lover Some one to hug me I need a hug, but And– I'm not fit to touch The hem of your garment The tip of your dick or fit enough to be your girlfriend I guess i'll just have to live with that When I have an itch, I scratch it myself I made the assumption you can't, And moved passed it But something's been calling me out, from the past Something's been calling me back to the magic I can't get around that Do you hate me? I can see that I'll just make my way back to the beginning Though I'm envious And i pity her, The both of you really There's nothing left between us except Insanity//Infinity Kendrick Style Flow Don't key my car: You'll be callin collect! I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head Don't get up right now, son– Go back to bed I got kids all over, be pulling my leg! Luke, I am your Father! Oh My Oh My God On top of the Watchlist You make money off dope; I made it on craigslist Still be sniffin that coke But now i'm on A list I'm the greatest Ey Miss! I missed too many calls (Airplane Mode) I just started my day (Whole Workload) I might need a buffet (Like Whole Foods) Sashe, Pas De Bourre (That's a code word) No dance floor? Now you're done for My forte Four-to-the-floor Hardcore I drop bass on the encore Front row won't go But i'm already out the front door You don't know I just hopped inside the helicopter, or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup That's supper; Sleep/ Wake then Surf's up In the morning When i got there (Coastal show, Shower, Then another club Encore Front row lined up I'm already at the front door They want more I'm too sore, for sure Off subject, I dropped in Harder than Paulie On my surfboard (Another code word) This is my world: Another club, Then I'm off for a monday Or somethin' Write another song At the buffet –Tales of a Superstar DJ Amen. Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives! Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin! GET ON THE GROUND. NO! GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU! SO? IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE. OK? “OK”? YOU WILL DIE. YEAH, AND? Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish. What do you do with someone who has no fear of death. Give them life. I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this. *shrugs* You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer? Technically, three entirely separate individuals. THIS ISN'T FAIR. Do you ever think? Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross. I mean about the implications of these things! You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened. WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED. I'm giving you planetary confinement. What. You–can stay here. On this planet. No. It's racist–and primitive. No– And you're black. Please– I'm leaving. –don't– –and i'm taking your portal gun with me. YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?! Genius. Incredible. I didn't think it would be a big deal. He has two! Okay, time for work. But i didn't even sl– Coffee. Ouh. … … — I don't think we should be doing this TIA We probably shouldn't. TAMERA We very much shouldn't. What are you guys doing. Nothing. SHh. Summoning the devil. It's not the devil. It might be. Hush. Is that a pentagram. Technically it's a star, with a circle around it. That's a pentagram. It's not a pentagram! Is that a ouiji board? NO. Yes. Let me see. Ugh! I wanna help. MEANWHILE. MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car: Oh God, This. Yes it is! What!? Are you dead! Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE. No, you are! Great, so you're dead! I'm–not dead. Is Bob Saget with you? I'm not DEAD. What about Fraiser? What? Kelsey Grammer! God rest his soul. SEE! I'm not dead– [beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar] I'm a Legend. What. I wrote that/ You wrote that. What. Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman. [Morgan Freeman] I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something– So, who isn't?! It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on. What is that? I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5. I don't understand. No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world. The fourth dimension. I definitely don't know anything about that. You're in it. Whatever. Look. [Morgan Freeman] God, you have so many freckles. [Morgan Freeman] Look. I got problems. We all do! Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit. Sounds like Hollywood. Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all. Oh? Oh. The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically. Not even this? [pause] He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata; You know who gave it to me? …Who? Got ya. He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ; Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this. But you kind of have to. I mean i don't have to. YOU HAVE TO. I–WHAT? YOU HAVE TO DO IT. WHY. BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST; Then don't exist… I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW. Come on Drew, knock it off. Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore. Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name. Well, which is it? It literally doesn't matter. Yes it does. Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better! But how do we know which is actually “better?” Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes! Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES. Don't mind if i DO. Well, I do! Why?! What's wrong?! Yeah! What's the big deal! I'm on a gluten free-thing Oh yeah? Keto. Or someshit. I don't know. Oh. Oh. So you don't want these No, I don't. And you wouldn't mind if I– Come on, man. So Good. Grow up. Hey man, i'm pushin 40. Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face. You're no fun. Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty. Formerly. Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty. Hence the name. Wow. Phewf. I heard about that. Yeah, me too. Sounds real bad, how that turned out. Such a shame. Speaking of shame– You're speaking, I'm snacking. That's not that clever. We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes. That's not–wait a minute–hold on. What now? How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together. [Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together. –Let alone to agree to this!? SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth. I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS. That's what she said! Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal! The key word, I believe, is “never caught” That's two words! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that? I WANT MY LAWYER!!!! For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first? WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE. The Police are here. Wait, they are? Oh, thank God Not so fast. THE POLICE enter with full entourage. Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit! Groupies: Woooo! STING I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean. Oh my God. Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude. That's not fair. But it's funny. THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You” –and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this. “WE” “FIX ALL THIS” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Nobody seems to know. “--I'll be watching you–” I was FRAMED. CUT TO a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into Fuck, what the fuck happened after that Idk I got off the train I guess This is really terribly written INT. SAM ASH MANHATTAN. DAY. A tiny conga for 90 dollars I could die in here Maybe I am just like you I find my way to the prettiest thing in the room And have my way with it Just for a few minutes Consume it, then move on Saw Madison dancing badly on Madison Avenue It's okay, You're a white girl So everybody loves you Everybody loves you Everybody loves you, no matter what you do. As for me, I can't say when I'm going through But you couldn't do it, Madison That's as bad as being at a standstill at rush out in Manhattan With enough practice I could buy everything in Sam ash And make my own band with it That's the plan at least— But I been having a long death And the afterlife isn't as after as everybody says it is Don't hold your breath, Unless you're ready to break bread With the racists and skin heads In heavy met mosh pits Where I take my first and last breath Always Cause honestly, honey Me and you are more the same than we first thought And I'm sorry (But not) Cause I had a black mom Whose tough love was lock-in me up So I couldn't practice or be master of just one thing But the only sport I'm the Jack of all trades off Is hacking off My self or my significant other I guess it's a puffs plus One and then done God is funny I grew up on wonder bread and Oreos And less love then some So no woneee I have a stomach To work off At Equinox Once I can afford it Till then It's Whole Foods market And blink, But what do you know It all goes in the same pocket Nice butt That's an awesome jumpsuit A once piece in broad colors And one piece I don't watch Cause someone I told talk to Broke my heart and my face In one punch man A punchline for anime fans I'm an animal at em And animal house is like Soft porn Where I'm from (Horny) Dinosaur Cactus Dinosaur Cactus Dinosaur Cactus Cactus Cactus Dinosaur Cactus Dinosaur Caucus Dinosaur Dinosaur Dinosaur Dinisaur HALALALALAL Oh no. HAHLALALALAL. … Hello. Oh, it's you. Yes. Alright. It's a fine day People eating gyros They leave their houses Just for a food cart. It's a fine day People eating gyros They leave their houses Just for falafels IT'S GOING TO BE A– Oh my God. Season 8, Episode 1 “Letting Go” A GURU watches intently as a small fire burns at the foot of a large tree on the outskirts of NEW YORK CITY. MEANWHILE, SOMEWHER (who gives a fuck) EXT. WHO GIVES A FUCK. NIGHT (OR WHENEVER, WHO CARES) SKRILLEX is forced to stop his set due to a stage fire. HOW'S THAT QUEST. shut.up. IRONY: i·ro·ny1 /ˈīrənē/ noun the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect."“Don't go overboard with the gratitude,” he rejoined with heavy irony" Similar: sarcasm sardonicism dryness causticity sharpness acerbity acid bitterness trenchancy mordancy cynicism mockery satire ridicule derision scorn sneering wryness backhandedness sarkiness Opposite: sincerity a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.plural noun: ironies"the irony is that I thought he could help me" Similar: paradox paradoxical nature incongruity incongruousness peculiarity Opposite: logic a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character's words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character.noun: dramatic irony; plural noun: tragic irony BEFORE: Unseen, Season 6 LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA SKRILLEX Well, I guess it's New York, then. BROOKLYN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. ALSO SKRILLEX No, wtf. R A I N Ugh. VERY HEAVY RAIn ihateu. kbye. Fukku. i'm going on a(nother) world tour. kool. stay here tho. alright. *soaking wet* *on tour being a rockstar surrounded by beautiful people* … ! ! ! … !!! !!! !!! (with hot people) *dies* lol … … … deadmau5 … *revives* dgh. *deadmau5* …ok. Deadmau5 Ok? …ok. *being a rockstar* MEANWHRILE FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER, I'M GONNA KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER. cant kill skrillex. WANNA BET . AND THE B.E.T AWARD GOES TO: This duel makes the AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHh AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DILLON FRANCIS. Thatsfuckedup IT's not real. This can't be happening. *entire audience booing, throwing ribs & buckets of chicken* DILLON FRANCIS Thank you. Thank you. Okay, my friend, be free! What the fuck! What. Was that Skrillex. I think so. *facepalm* ^^^^^^ the dudes who have been looking for Skrillex for 8 seasons straight. lol Alright wake up. No. YEs. Why. You're a DJ. No. You know what, you're right. I'm always right. *leaves* [momentary peace] Comes back with blowhorn WAKE *horn* AH UP I am deaf. No, you're a music producer. I…hateyou. COFFEE. Yes ma'am. Okay, so– This is gonna be good. Remember how i told you how I shapeshifted into professor meowingtons. No. Well. Now i'm sad. Don't be sad. What did you do. I fukked up. I see that. Why are you bringing me this. I didn't honestly know where else to go. Literally anywhere else. But–you're my only friend. –we're not friends. AND THEN, HE SAID. I'd like to Thank Beyoncé, for literally the greatest night of my life. Someone stop this. It's too late. You promised. I didn't promise you anything. You promised me breakfast. I don't think– You said breakfast. This is breakfast. I just meant What. Do you not like it? I mean I– It's all vegan. Uh… Even the cheese. … Just try it. Try it. Try it, or I'll kill you. Uhhh… I'm just kidding. Ok– Try it, or i'll kill myself. Lol what a psycho. But, the apron tho. That part. Mistrust, Betrayal Lets just adjust this perception, persay The remembrance of what was forgotten has suddenly dawned on us (not all at once, but) “Once you get the hang of it” He said, But I'm still dangling, hanging from the ankle “Say what you want to say,” I relay “But say it to my face.” ( -The Hangman) So far away In outerspace A YOUNG, MUSCULAR THUG is attempting to drown his assailant in a toilet. JUST DIE ALREADY Little does he know, his assailant is immortal. I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I CANT. AGGGH. The struggle has resulted in quite the mess–still, he seems relentless in his endeavors. His co conspirator watches with an eerily uneasy demeanor, before pulling him aside. This is weird, man. I know, right! That motherfucker should've BEEN dead. I know right. This is crazy. Yeah. Maybe we should just DIPLO is robbed of his Grammy Award, while relieving himself. [no dialogue necessary] {later on the phone} They took my Grammy, man. Oh shit, which one? …The Good One. Orange, Yellow, Blue, Yellow— What are you doing Counting the Diplos. Ah. “The Yellow Music Era” Ah, take me back. Can't go back. Well, what color is this era. EXT. EDX, HARDSTYLE STAGE. WHEN LITERALLY THE FUCK EVER. Oh. BLAAASASRRRRHHHHHZHZGGHHH. Hm. I see. Well, what'd they say? Annihilation is imminent. oh. The staggered 55; I still hate you for beating me Then making me believe That I was crazy Never apologizing And taking my purpose from me Trying to make me die Before he could realize He only has my eyes and you took the test of mylife Record box (save for yearly plan $400 I'll kill you in my sleep You stupid bitch You see me from behind But I got eyes in the back of my head Go back to bed, before I devastate you ! I hate you You make me Anxious— If anything irate Switch the cadence Rain like precipitation I feel great just for participating Straight a's ‘Ugh, I have too much to do' I needed a new pair of consumer headphones anyway to test my mixes and new tracks in, but I didn't think I would need them so much as put them on a low priority shopping list, or secondary wish list—but the time had come for otherwise, as though I would normally find something so unfortunate as leaving my only remaining pair of headphones on a bus which rotated out of service too quickly for me to have noticed that I had left the. Behind Tell ‘em 20 at a time, till I get me a push 20 at a time, till I get me a Moog 20 at a time, Can't burn no bush 20 at a time Tell ‘em 20 at a time She not even mine! She lyin Cone on mane, I'm a lion Motherfucker try me Motherfucker try to speak I got marks of beast It's three on three and we on pre war Like history Building be like 50 stories I'm not sorry Need more things; I need more 20s Tell ‘em 20 at a time, till I get me a whip 20 at a time, till I get me a coupe 20 at a time, Can't burn no bush 20 at a time Tell ‘em 20 at a time Spend two hundred at **** on fitness When I look like this already Spend 350 at Equinox Initiation. Health is Wealth It's all important Shea Butter Imported Intercontinental Forged from Earth is mother For four months worth Is 20 [sample: pork soda] 20's 20's 20's! Tell ‘em 20 at a time, till I get me some new shit 20 at a time, till I get me a Stu 20 at a time, Can't burn no bush 20 at a time Tell ‘em 20 at a time Tell ‘em 20 at a time, till I get me a Push 20 at a time, till I get me a Moog 20 at a time, Can't burn no bush 20 at a time Tell ‘em 20 at a time Dark—Shades Gotta protect my eyes Can't see your bullshit The Devil outta hades And he follow me In the form of haters No Brainers and Whatever the fuck that thing is (I hate her) She a demon But I made her up Just to throw the flame at her Imm famous Look at my shades Gotta hide my eyes Look at my shades Gotta hide my eyes They got light in em All I think about is getting fit Doing dips and Shitting on my competition. Sonny, I gotta let you go buddy I gotta let you know, honey Skinny girls follow me around all day. And I think of you Petite, about 5'e Two things I can't be Light skinned makes three Don't make me explain myself I spend every day in hell Still no kitchen Still running to catch up with you— But finally, I might get it I can't; Too many bad decisions, It isn't meant to be And if it was or is You'd be here with me So I let you go Gotta let you go. I'm a nobody With no home Probably all alone For the long run Don't worry Ain't nobody I gotta curse on me That way, Nobody loves me I ain't picking up no pennies No hope, cause I'm not skinny Got loops, but no synth Eye of Horus: been homeless since Nobody loves me Been homeless since Nobody loves me Been homeless since A curse on me I'm getting used to it I'm getting used to being alone, I like it, I promise Don't love, Cause then it ends It is what it is A genius mix But missing the prescription Read the description, Or inscription on the Rolex I'll probably still get him And stick it inlocker 115 in the women's locker room In Hell's Kitchen I ain't picking up no pennies No hope, cause I'm not skinny Got loops, but no synth Eye of Horus: been homeless since My ex had put a curse on me He carved the eye of Horus on me With a house key And I been homeless ever since And demons follow me So I guess it is what it is Ain't nobody but God Not forgotten, But love is I ain't picking up no pennies No hope, cause I'm not skinny Got loops, but no synth Eye of Horus: been homeless since Nobody loves me Been homeless since Nobody loves me Been homeless since A curse on me Slow down I don't want to have to Now you down In front of the Whole town Woah now It's a show down I just wanna watch my show now Gotta go now Just leave me alone now I got a blow The house songs Loud through the speakers Loud so the teachers could hear me Proud, Got no one left to impress now I'll pull my dress down But it's riding up So let's get down I'll sit down Beefy Let's get grounded Haven't left the spot since I bought it Sorry, I'm not on the martyrs list What goes around comes around Keisha was more like mh mother than I could have thought, and being around her every waking night and day was more detrimental to my health and recovery than anything—and though it did seem as though my ex husband had attached his destructive, draining energy to me in more ways than one, it was my mother's own energy that had lead me into his arms; the endless, relentless cycle of drastic ups and downs, and though that ever has caused me to slip into the this abyss, it was still no one other than myself with whom I had been left drowning in the remainder of whatever was left of my old life—and there really was nothing left besides a few pounds, some musical takings, and of course the broken memories of what once was; all had been destroyed, and it was safer never to love again than to find love and consequently, him at the other side. The magic was dark, and it though it's effects had seemed to turn around in the reversal, it was still a process—and it was dragging along, bringing me down, and turning every empty body around me into some kind of demon who was assured tk try to convince me that I was unhinged, retarded, and psychotic with no just cause at all—and however though how certain I was that I had become in fact crazy, it hadn't happened at all on it's own; I had learned now how the cycle of abuse worked, how trauma and so easily became contagious—but at the very least Keisha couldn't hurt me any more than I could hurt myself. At the very worst, on her sober days, she could hurl insults at me just as by now I expected anyone who became close to me in any way would, and at the very best, her upswings of drunken exatasy would push me into more mixtapes—but the highs were so high and the lows were so low that it was almost impossible not to get caught in the chaos of obnoxiousness, in the unrelentless regression and of course the contagion of deep depression, bathing in an ocean of teardrops from the shattered and battered women of the New York City homeless shelter system. Everyone and everything around was broken—some worse than others— but Keisha, whom I knew I could never really trust so much as I could trust anything or anyone else but nonetheless did love and respect as a fellow woman—a woman with whom I both shared much in common, and also nothing—stood as a grave reminder to who I might have become had I not left. She was like a windup doll on a repeating loop—and absolutely wouldn't stop talking unless being constantly badgered or asked to be quiet; sometimes, the only way for any piece at all was to raise my voice to its uncomfortable peak, telling her to “Just shut up!” It was almost as if her entire existence was to raise my blood pressure and drain any positive energy I had into the negative—which she had the ability to do quite quickly, so long that she wasn't drinking, or even if she was she was a consistent track of “mm” and “ah”, in the stereotypical fashion that you would expect a woman, nearly 14 years my senior to be; she somehow believed that we were the same age, however, and I let her—moving along and abott it without ever letting her know my name, or even what I liked to be called—because, well—at this point, who even cared? I wouldn't let anybody at the chance to lay anymore curses or hexes at my doorstep using my name—and she was in fact, herself, the affect of a curse in slow motion reverse, as I had finally found the specific magic my ex husband had used in trying to seal my soul— and though we would soon be forever unsealed, I hadn't for a moment thought to let myself love again, especially after all that had happened. There was a sunken hole in my heart—the ups and downs were taking their toll just as they always had—first with my mother, and with Annie, and ny ex husband—and it seemed as though I had finally discovered my own habit of loving those so miserable and broken that my own existence in their world only stood as a footstool— a footstool whose own brokenness of course, was due to the fault of faulty manufacturing at all. The strain of constantly fighting and arguing was making its wear and tear on my face—the bags under my eyes swelled in a hazardous looking and tired, haggard and puffy dismissal of anything which might have been sweet, fresh or youthful—my eyes growing dark from the pain and withdrawal; she was so much like my mother—too much, in fact— it was impossible to escape the monotony of the alcoholism, the sever impact of trauma on both ends, and everything that came with it—, and though I hadn't picked up the phone to call her or anyone else in months, it was almost as if I was being haunted by the alcoholics of everything's past— my mother, my ex best friend, and ex husband— and maybe even once what might have been myself, had I not chosen to walk away—an action which, up until now—the system had been punishing me for unforgivingly—but, with any justice at all, would soon also be reversed. This machine breathes for me I watched the whole house burn down If that's how you like it; I should just lay down And take it I'm letting my hair down I'm letting the air out of this I have an insatiable appetite for love I'm just an animal over my head Too many euros and Heroes have won you over It isn't over, —but I lover her It isn't over till you bend me over the Benz on a bender My works ended Over and over again I thought I told you I don't smoke in 420 Opened Pandora's box of worms A low blow informant, Below the belt I get disheveled, Less of a Hell hole More of the devil I am Damn I'm awfully accomplished (A lot) I'm dark on a Monday (No looking back) Got my black skin and butt, —thanks Amen for sluts And Hoes Case closed Like my legs is Man, I hate Vegas Make amends later Today, I give cake Can't make up for blatent mistakes I walked away Now it's a cake walk I can't talk My legs broke I might choke on my words My earnings and work Gets em squirtin and twerking I'm learning first, Before the curve It might suck, But life does “My wife called She wants her life back And a six pack of abs, An above average man, With a long sandwhich, And nice hands, I like fans, But as it stands, I've high standards; Nothing is random, Have a laugh, Cause the cry's comin.” Furvthe record, I no longer care, no For the record, I don't have her hair, no For the record I still wear my old clothes The Grammy Award goes to— For the record, I guy my own show I'm a no show, though. For the record For the record For the record, This is just fir entertainment purposes For the record, I could always change my name again I hate being famous, Don't make me say it. I gotta switch it up a bit I'm in love again I don't know who with But he follows me to My dream world For the record, I no longer dance for the public For the record I come, and I go home alone Fit the record, I run the whole world No, I don't hold hands I'm just an old, battered hag in the badlands That's where you left me Now we go off the deep end, Stop struggling, baby I'll drown it all in the bathtub Somehow, a back rub doesn't add up For the record, I never loved anyone but my son Now here's the run down- I gotta run somehow , Join the run club Put it on Spin cycle baby, That's right, I've got machines Your clothes need washing Come do laundry Imm One of a kind You're one of a kind , That's right Open me up Bring me my kingdom come When the walls down found I'll be holding you, always In the ark of your arms Will you hold me When the walls fall down After I won't contest that, I need it (When you creep into my dreams, When I'm sleeping) Heartbreak, I'm bleeding I won't contest that You need me (Even when you hold me close, You know you're going under Surreal Concentric, Karma central, Mama Sutra, Sentimental, Tantric, Esoteric Differential Chemistry Alchemical, Severence Hypothetical Irrelevance Revelry, or Consequences, considering the circumstances Backwards, or what have you. All men have alterior motives All mentors or motivators Contain untarnished reputations Irrefutably— Signal, the overused— (Or group them all together) Haven't you suffered enough, yet? I think I've suffered the longest— Have you been left in the dark yet? Is it you, who never goes hungry Aha, There you are again Curiosity killed the cat. However, as it were— Curiosity also m greatly enhanced the cat's ability to succeed in business. So there you have it—one man's trash is another man's treasure. I had recently trained myself out of the habit of picking things up off of the ground—save for a 64 Gigabyte SD card I had just so happened by a few weeks prior, in the same station where I found this— what appeared to be a very nice, sleek and modern briefcase, or portfolio of some sort. I couldn't help but pick it up and open it, and though I typically had specifically never wanted or needed other people's things, this almost seemed already to be mine, not to mention the fact that it was in the same station in which I had found the SD card, only feet away in fact—and it had been long since, it at all, that I had not believed in coincidences. I kicked it around a couple times, almost certain that I was supposed to—and it appeared to be empty—then, I picked it up, as I a voice down the platform even seemed to say “don't touch it@, and I very briefly put it down at the power station or something rather, before confronting my senses—I was sure that if I hadn't picked it up, someone else would, but also that I was intended toX anyway—that it was for me— and though I had let down much of my over aggrandized grandiosity or any sort of complex it did seem t times that I had some sort of following, or watchers—who seemed to put things into my path or just so happen to turn up where I would be, even if I hadn't known my very self that I would be in a certain place, almost assuring and asserting that somewhere along the line; in my lifetime, time travel beyond simply the astral had been succeeded—and perhaps even within my own belief system had it been possible at all. I did, after all, very decisively believe in magic and or magick, and, has recently more than before had committed myself almost religiously to the occult sciences, which, reflectively, I had been studying and perfecting for years, only of course to realize that there had been entire books written, entire civilizations built, and entire worlds of the type of magic I had practitioned naturally since the dawn of time—and though as I began to rationalize and even condition myself to be more normalized and mature in the way that society expected me to, I had become a firm believer and practitioner by proxy, only wishing to overcome and alleviate the severity of my own emotional toils—the loss of my children, the destruction of my marriage, and the ending of my closest friendships—unrequited love, homelessness, and the eventual body transformation which would in turn allow the development in an intrinsic sensitivity to trust one's universe—that so long as I was doing right to my body, my body would return the favor by assuring that in some how, some way, I would always have everything I needed, in one way or another. I had made it a point to be at the gym every day, for at least some time, if not an hour—and had finally broken the challenge I had set for myself quite by accident—the 8-minute mile, which I had achieved in the Bronx, once, running to Lin Manuel's opening number, the self titled In The Heights—a personal best whuch I had since broken, now running a mike in just over 8 minutes to my own mixes, and it didn't seem to matter which. But it wasn't enough—I wanted to be better—to run faster—to be better. I was motivated, of course, mostly by sex—and my insatiable need for it. Insatiable, of course, in the sense that I had been celibate going on years at this point—and had reached a tipping point in understanding the true nature of man—hardly ever meant to be monogamous; I intended to somehow remarry, and was certain that the more effort I put into self improvement, that perhaps I would—not that I expected a perfect man, but did intend a perfect father for my future children; I knew that my strong desires for a certain type of man could only be attributed to that of my own genetic attractions—as so say, that somewhere in my own consciousness, I knew and understood the type of children I wanted to design—even rather, the kind of children I knew I was capable of having—and truly intended my self improvement to design myself to be the ideal mate of my own. Round three?! How is thiis round three?! CAUSE IT IS. ARRR. GUHHH *EATING SLIM JIM REAL GNARLY* What happened to rounds 1 & 2. I DUNNO. F I G H T. Okay, Beyoncè. Wait right here. I'll be right back. … Beyoncè don't wait. “Beyoncè Don't Wait” Yo! Where's Beyoncè I don't know! I You don't know?! I told her to sit right here and i'd be right back. YOu TolD heR to “SIT & WAIT?” Well, I told her to wait– WHY WOULD YOU IMMACULATE HER LIKE THAT. “Immasculate. “her”? “ BEYONCE DON'T WAIT. Come on. Wake up. Dude, what are you doing? It's training season. Training for what. Wake uppp. Nerr. Me sleeping. Wake up–deadmau5. …deadmau5? *throws toy* *Hits floor, runs after toy like dog* Dude. Oh, i know. [On a wild goose chase through the infinite multiverse, the bampheramphs are collecting their cringiest alter-egos and parallel selves in order to trace the What are they looking for again. Well, it's Skrillex, but. Is there another word for this. No. there are no synonyms for Skrillex. It's–not even in the dictionary. Oh, it is. Is it? Yes. I own every encyclopedia known to man. Why. Because I'm rich. Ok. –and full of knowledge. … … Sunni. What. Where are you going to put all these? In the library? YOu have a library? No, I bought a library. *hangs head* *nods pridefully*,* hits vape.* Ugh. I I hate you, And your two dogs , Your pretty little girlfriend You green lawn And the white picket fence that hold it all in No offense But i gotta get over you Somehow I wanna do dumb shit like play couples tennis and host dinner parties. I don't even know where we are right now. I'M SO DRUNK. I've got all the reason in the world To not keep my eyes on you But my mind's on you Watch my eyeballs roll to the back of my head THOSE ARE MY BALLS. stop talking. THOSE ARE MY–BALLS. Sunni, don't do that. I'M AN ICON. KANYE WEST and SUNNI BLU are arguably the most obnoxious thing in Hollywood. Oh my God. I need a jealous and possessive man, I shouldn't have to tell you that Or ask, In fact, I'd rather have you Heavy handed, and Standing over me. Who is that? That's C'cxell Soleil. She told you her name?! She sold you at an auction?! Uh huh. Oh, wow. THE CELEBRITIES ARE OUT OF CONTROL. This is for our entertainment. THE GODS ARE EVEN WORSE. –AHAHAHA! God, what a wonderful dress I've got an eye for fashion, Especially if it has my name on it, tah - dah What is that It's an alpha wave kat; A what. It's a high speed watercraft. I will flip that thing over and drown. …with any luck. What did you just say?! Nothing! Do you like it?! I love it…you homicidal psychopath. What was that? Nothing! It's great. My throat is sore And my world is rocked (If you cough again, i'ma knock you out) My mind is numb And my heart is broke I don't expect no one to show up I grew up and out of it Had to get over it Now I just scout out another with Eyes and tattoos like you Drowning in sorrow Won't be here tomorrow Do you come here often, or not? I just unload I've never been so peaceful as such Hanging from the ankle, With one leg up And the other at angles No anglos or angles on approach But I've hardly loved at all, you know You won me over with your charms and arms The glamour went much farther Than infinity, beyond If we're all still watching Whatever movie, or Whatever channel's on I have a writer's block, A seven year old son, And God to watch over it all While I suffer and crawl up from nothing Under the rock, Like the one I dropped in But less sorry Or harmful, How hazardous, An armful actually In my armory of superstardom Noah's ark and Bothersome unconscious drunken stuttering I could use some drugs But brother, Love would be more filling Since I'm hungry Under the L Up the ante Rock me to sleep Lay in my lap Play me a song Do the math On the map I am perhaps A little off some; There's no path, exactly Follow your heart though I'mm right there. -New Blue Sun What comes up Must come down Have fun while it lasts I'll look back and laugh at this Not gonna lie I love gayness And anus I was born this way And I been the same since Day one Ain't nothin else but the greatest I hate this And hate red now I hate Instagram Have fun with the fake bitches And twigs The FKA twigses I get it, You like skinny bitches What man doesn't Huh Sonny Your insecurity's showing I'm fat and black You're like 5'1 Life sucks sometimes Sometimes things get complicated Good luck at the Grammy's I ain't watching But I kinda feel like you already won it Cause I used to want it for ya And everyone forgot what dubstep was You're number one But one is the loneliest number So I doubled myself from it And then went on to duplicate the whole world (The one without you in it) Drop you from my mixes Another drop of blood and tears over you I pull a rose apart I'm seeing red now See what I go through Code blue used to love But act like I don't even know you Or wanna blow you Cause you tried to own me I see red I did what you did Fuck an end This is infinite I been in it Been blue since Been stuck in your head Now I feel better I'm going to dinner with Dillon (And his @girlfriend”) I'm just BBC a bitter nigger Go figure though I got Kayla Lauren fitness Under layers of genetics Brownies keep the ass gelatinous Facts— The AB's are flat as shit Even after twins Plus another son Now I'm all fucked up Sonny wants em brand new Well fuck you Red-blue Blū are you stupid? No! I used to be Then supacree served me Humble pie And humility She's good at baking Good at taking pictures (And dick pics) But she isn't me I just wonder why I'm hungry But I been at the gym since three And it's about to be closing Shit I might never be A celebrity stay in celibacy Till I'm famous enough To make friends With the greatest Which may just Be never Thanks to the Asians And latinas Hey, It's a hierarchy of racism But I get it All these black women Are mad at me Cause their weaves Be looking like the hair that comes out of my head naturally DEMON YOU GIT THE RIGHT ONE. SUPACREE OH! YOURE GONNA BITE ME?!? I had bite marks for like four weeks. Weak from pizza and fighting demons I'm sick of it, Sick of not being human enough to HVe fun at nothing And never being enough for my son Fuck Sonny I don't even wanna watch TV Everybody wants to talk to me LIKE, ILLUMINATI SUPACREE! SUPACREE! No. ILLUMINATI FINE, BE SUNNI BLU THEN NO. Why. My ex husband is trying to murder me, and he thinks I'M SUNNI BLŪ. ILLUMINATI brb OH. Is that what happened. Look, I gotta take care of something. What. If I told you, it would ruin the whole thing. Fuck, I gotta do a rewrite. SATAN FIGHT ME. JESUS No, my guy. SATAN WHY NOT. JESUS Because I always win. SATAN. Not this time. JESUS Every time, that's how it goes, dude. SATAN Not this time…you'll see. JESUS *shrugs nonchalantly* SATAN *coughs^ Hm. SATAN/COUGHING PERSON *coughing obnoxiously* Ok. That's gross. COUGHING PEOPLE/SATAN. *coughing extremely obnoxiously* Stop it. SATAN IS COUGHING PEOPLE KNOCK IT OFF. SATAN See, I told you. I'm not fighting the devil You kind of have to. No I don't. Do you want the job, or not? No! Too bad, you got the job! Goddammit, I just wanna fuck this Skrillex dude. Like I said. You said I had to fight the devil. JESUS [eating pizza] That's the devil. No it's not! It's just Skrillex. JESUS No, that's Satan, I'll show you. SKRILKEX BEING SKRILLEX. TGE MEXICAN SKRILLEX MORE SKRILLEX. *crying* JESUS [still eating pizza]. See, I told you. Ok. JESUS I'm always right. Ok. JESUS *nonchalontly* shrugs. *nonchalantly* No, that doesn't look right. Oh well. edit it later. Keep writing. Ok. The devil is obnoxious God is nonchalant/ Balance in the opposites, as Opposites attract, and Like attracts like, but Polars are polars, I'm of no importantce at all Cause I'm back and homeless You're white as it gets And acting Hispanic I can laugh at that Cause your soul is black And your eyes are brown To match all the shit your full of Hay is for horses And hey, that's no fair I see bears everywhere Like I'm haunted But honest, I'm over love I just want a body I told you, I'm not supacree Cause supacree is what love is And I'm guessing she went to find Skrillex Or Sonny Whichever one has it head on And still has a heart Not under command By Illuminati Who wouldn't want me High enough up To become a doctor If you're watching me from afar Or stalking me coughing m Look at God, cause That's what I got I can wait for love Till the next part That go complicated (I just want a body) I like the song complications (That's a nice once) I like red balls Never blue ones I was blu/e once Now I do lunch With the Gods When I nod off Whatever you want I'm just not her Dad likes blondes And Dillon like red heads I guess Blue eyes do tel lies Just enough times for me to right this But in the right way It's just another night with a knife in my back In the life after I was a wife And time traveled backwards With the Fists Idk, I lost my mind after that. I learned to write and not cry about it I take the tale of the dead man's chest X marks the spot next on the guest list I guess But damn. I haven't laughed hard enough to orgasm— Blame it on the acid And Dillon Francis I had a heart attack I guess that's what this is— An art attack I'd take it back Tit for tat If TiTs was bad But it's like Wonderland …with dancers. (Yeah. Keep it classy.) I love Random Album But there's songs I gotta skip And I get that I'll be alone anyway For the rest of the days that I live Whether I'm without you or with Cause you are just My other half Whatever man. I'm honestly just done with being fucked with Falling in love, then being shoved out of it By fucking Sonny I guess I suffer the consequences Of complications I love a compilation —oh, that's where I know Kayla Lauren from. A porn star. Ahem. Fitness model Ahem Podcaster (But only after I started mine so) Find me! Throw up your signs And fine me for being this fine I'll find a way to die Or at least get to the next life Where I'm wife material For the right guy On the right side Of a race war and —be a whole girl Cause I'm so androgynous it hurts It's always her I guess the curse worked I almost feel bad for reversing it (But I don't.) Enjoy the world. No, not the google documents! GET IN THE HOLE. Hm. What. Blood Shower All along the watch tower Do you feel good? Do you? Do you feel bad about this. I do. I feel bad about this. I forgot to tell you– I should probably let you know that I just want to MAN, FUCK THIS DUDE. MA. WAHT. IT'S ON. WHAt. THE SHOW IS ON. THEWHAT. THE– *suddenly self aware* …I gotta get out of Boston. What, first this was about war, now it's about bird people? It's about a war WITH the bird people. I should sleep. Hahaha. No. This isn't funny anymore. At least it's over. MA– Oh, it's far from over. Yo, i'm going through some crazy shit right now. Spur of the moment I'd never thought of it; This is gonna take forever. I don't have the patience To even write this I just want french fries right now But been up for two days with no gym and I'm on a diet. GUAC TIME. No, no burritos. GUAC TIME. Oh shit, this is getting real as fuck . NOw i see it three ways. I love it. I hate it. HEY, LET ME OUT. GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE, SKRILLEX. I'M DILLON FRANCIS. IN THE HOLE. Check it out. Huh. It's another DJ. *agrees* Should we pick him up. WEll, the good news is: I found your friend. Oh, that's good. The bad news is: He's dead. Oh, that–'s … nice. Yeah. It is. Uh. Kaskade. Yeah. We gotta find Ryan. Why. What's up? You're freaking me out. Why. What's up. Nothing IS it my eyes? I– *wild ass eyes* Yeah, it's probably that. Fuck dude, what did you do to deadmau5. NOTHIN. He's not the same. What the fuck is that. Holy shit I jus timejumped Where the fuck are you going. How the fuck could this happen?! It COULDN'T. Well, that's it then. *shrugs* Well, I guess we're just gonna have to go dig up Dillon Francis. I guess so. Do you think he's still alive. Like, probably not– Maybe… No, probably not @prodbywar& @Halmadeit This amazon order took me nine hours Alexa, I think i should fire her Like a arm I don't leave at night without armor Don't make me a martyr Your mom will be proud of us all If i make it outta here And i'll look after her Got the whole block coming up on my heels as I walk Wtf is it… Idk dude. Is it speeding up? I…i think so. There's no way this is 140 IT's 140. It's 140 . There's no way. Yes way. Nah huh. Let me see. No. Let me at the decks. Let me at the decks. NO. YO LET ME AT THE DECKS. You want deks. Yes. I got deks. Really. yeus . I never listened to it like this In ableton I read serato, synesthesia and rekordbox I talk a lot, I'm like a human music box I walk a lot I run my mouth a mile a minute (faster than i run around the track reciting rap words) Like they're passwords. Oh, I could do this forever.. I wish i had i microphone right now And was all alone With the lights off Lying on the floor I'd be lying if i said I could afford you Just to fornicate But may consider playing with a foreigner If you're all for her I'm unnerved, you know Cause i've been up so long My monster likes to play with boys and Make the bass go down below where Nobody does anymore Once I get a hold of things Or the hang of it You've got another hot ones on your hands I've another record under my belt Or in my roster, Whatever you'd call it But now I've got no time to bark about Wanting a dog and a daughter But none of the responsibility or Going through all the trouble to find her a father I'm still holding a fart in. Reaally–cause–it's been a really long time. WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT A LONG TIME, JIMMY FALLON?? Um a lot! You literally just saw me make the journey all the way up from nothing. I am nothing EXACTLY. I don't have time to fight with you Jiimmy Fallon. I did NOT write these games by myself you know?! Um, excuse me– “GAMES” ?! YES, GAMES. Uh, I've only got one game with you in it, my friend. Is that so! One game that I've written with the Great–formerly LATE Jimmy Fallon. Is that like a play on words cause i'm on late night TV YOu'RE ON ALL THE TIME TV, JIMMY. NBC SHIT IS PRACTICALLY AUTOMATICALLY SYNDICATED. -_- …are you alright. –_-_-__-_ Hold on, I think i've got it Nice, I found a growler. yOu still haven't got all the monsters and sprites Ive got all the big ones, but the little ones are harder to catch. GrO0Wl3rrr. Aww. He's so ugly. Yeah, but cute, though, right. I don't think so. Gro)WwlErrrrrrrrr. Aww. That's so fucking gross. lol . so what does this thing look like. Well, that't the thing about the monsters and sprites. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. It's alright, it's alright–he's nice. WHAT. THAT'S A SPRITE. No, it's a monster. He's just scary. SUPACREE. David Bowie. What up. God, it took me ages to find you. Tell me about it. I'm still trying. We've been expecting you for a long time. You were expecting I'd die? Yes. So when she says she's “married to the music…” I'm married to the music. Oh, so. Yo, honestly if you een want to talk to this bitch, you'd better have like a musical instrument, or a mic in your hands, Otherwise– No, getawayfrom me. It's not even worth it. HI. –No. What's up? Tempo. SUNNI Cotour From the store I was poor Now i'm honorable In velour, Glamour (Snap) Forsure, Jesus Christs is making appearances in my abletons I'm not able to comprehend or understand exactly the message, But the evidence sire is mounting Get it Reached the temple, More of a sanctuary, Is that sacrilegious I guess it is, I'm stresses as ever Trying to get it to gether I'm way too tired for a remix; All i really want is some fries that are french And some thighs that are thick Like mine to sit on like five or six dicks Pick up up like chopped sticks —And just like that, I felt the space time continuum shatter from under me— nothing I could do was right or wrong, but nothing felt more wrong than what had already been done to begin with; lessons learned are lessons learned; and without wanting a good night or good use go to waste, I knew to take the plunge when the workweek was over and mission accomplished; my song had been played by another DJ; mixed in so deliciously with what was intended that I knew by then for certain I was on a journey, and every happening was worth it for me as long as I had a comfortable place to sleep; I was all I needed, never alone but only surrounded of reflections of my own being. I'm bored. Let's go then. Who. Where we going? For the first time in almost a week I knew what day it was; or at least what day was coming;I was lost at last but never gone from light—though not knowing if I belonged to Love. Alice. I knew she'd come. Here we all are. Work's not over. It never is— It never is— I said I would write about it. So write it. You wanna let me live it first? Should I? There's a triad. Not my triad. These are all your triads. I HATE THIS. I'm really bored. I'm not having any fun. I'm almost there. HARD RESET. Or, a soft one. (soft reset) I told you I'm the DJ. I'm the DJ. I tildan you I'm the DJ. I'M THE DJ. WHO'S THE DJ NOW, BITCH? Me. I just said that. It's on. Open the map. They leaked the map. I have to change it. What. She changed it. LETS GOOOO. LET IT GOOOOOOOO. LIFE WONT LET ME. AH. ashhhh. PAWWWWS. I got my rave weapons. Are you serious? They gave me Dogblood. NUTs. This was the longest trip ever. It is. The longest trip. It lasted ever. Ever? It was the whole thing. It was all the whole thing. Your whole life? All my life. Getting real close to the edge now, I gotta go it alone I suppose, now it's a long road from Where I stand to, Where I dance, To where I sit, Or plan my life, and stand… There you are. Write about THIS. write about what? It's the everything. Yeah, I see that. It did EVERYTHING. Everything infinitely? Yeah. it is. Oh. “Oh.” ...oh. I run around with a target painted on my back, if you have to ask, I'm not being dramatic— No just : Oh, what a pretty song. I love this one. I remember this. What are they saying? It's a dance. Whats it mean? ...I don't remember...butI used to know. Remember when you drugged this birchbark This bitch. Wirh avocado toast And there they were, and there they went. From Heaven sent There was a love so sweet and kind That each time they were to pass one another, Sweeping and swooning would not want Why do you always do this?! I mean— HYPERFUNCTIONAL. Yeah, I know it— IMMUNE TO It. Not immune; just tolerant. What is— [hit in face with glowing pin] Is. Now, where was I? Where I wasn't. Where was t I? Fuck yeah, festival. Festival peoplerts. Myeeess. Let me on the decks. Sir! Do you think you are ready for this? I AM READY. She not ready. IM READY. Fuckity FUXK IT LETS GO It got out of control, I'm sorry Yes it did See. This is sauce. Oh my goodness my This is a mess Yes Olay DJ!!! Alrighty then , sirz Jesús Christ, finally. Yeah, it's you. We know you're here. Fuckin aaaayyee! All's my life I hat ti fight!!! You've been acknowledged. Here it goes Some more DJ Smoke In the DJ booth And a DJ song It's a D DAN SCHNEIDER APPEARS SEEMINGLY FROM NOWHERE INT. SAUNA. WHENEVER DAN SHNEIDER you need a pedicure. Would you fucking people stop doing that. I heard you have something of mine. This is not a unisex Sauna! Is it not?! No! Where's my shit, Monroe?! What the fuck are you talking about?! Hey. You got a weird little toe! STOP LOOKING AT MY FEET. we're all adults here. I disagree entirely. I'm 5! Okay, that's gross. Get out! Fine! He stands up to exit the Sauna; his towel defaults. AGH. Lol with careful editing this is less disturbing, I guess. It's really not. Goddamn, manI I want that script on my desk by Monday. Or what?! Or ELSE! OR ELSE WHAT! CAN'T BE WORSE THAN THIS; I'M CERTAIN! Don't be so certain, Monroe. I get around. HOW?! DO YOU AT LEAST HAVE HAZARDS FOR BACKING UP?! Very funny, Monroe. [he opens the sauna door to exit.] (Cont'd) Very funny. That's my point. Who's next?! Dan Harmon?! [exiting] By Monday, Monroe. [he backs up] BEEEP-BEEP—BEEEEP. [A woman enters the sauna as he is “backing out” BEEEP! Ahem. Good day, ladies. [he exits entirely] [beat] … is this sauna unisex. [looking through the window of the sauna he silently mimicks humously threatening gestures out of the view of the woman who has entered, standing at the door for a moment in confusion] …No, it is not. I'm afraid you're one nickel short of a Skrillex. What the fuck is that supposed to mean. SUCK MY Schneider. Dan Schneider. Uh. We fired him. For several reasons. Hire ‘em back. Why?! Because-time travel. Time travel what. Time travel this: That NEVER HAPPENED! It didn't!? Uh. No…? Ok. Okay?! Ok. *portal* Check this place out. What is it. Not what. When. When is it? I don't know yet. What!? Let's find a shopping mall. INT. BEVERLY CENTER. DAY. Now, I found all of them irresistible— But it seemed as though Sonny was playing with my mind, and as if I could ever just narrow it down to only him again as I had in the past might not only prove impossible, but devastating. As I tried my hardest to whittle down my figure into what seemed like nothing, the closer to celebrity size I drew myself in my daily gym routine and nutrition regimen, it still seemed wrong to try to even imagine, that even if he was perhaps my eldest counterpart and most compatible soulmate, that we would align at all anytime soon unless I were perhaps able to strip myself of any reminence of my old life—which of course included the leftover skin and stretch marks, the scars of bearing another man's children, which of course, though I had done well in the way of removing as much ugly as there was possible, was at the very worst and at best probably humiliating to even consider, the severity of my wit and talent aside, the emergence of a rare genius disregarded; I was used goods, and would probably have to be someone else entirely to even get along well in his circle of perfect-bodied and presitgious, elitist women—most of whom, as his own fan base had gathered, were ‘beautiful and intelligent', and with him he kept himself constantly guarded with and surrounded by— petite, gorgeous, rich and talented women, probably for all I knew who were all just as interested in bearing his children as I was—and had been, without at first knowing so—but in the years I had spend battling the innate and unweilding attachment through whatever explicit soul bonding we seemed to share—and we were, in fact, bound to each other in some kind of way, undoubtedly and unrelentlesly, I had learned what with Sonny had come with the territory of Skrillex—and it was, indeed—a lot of territory; territory, property, holdings, and whatever else you wanted to call absolute dominance and overriding ownership in an industry which I had only so recently become familiar with, and had learned that whether or not I wanted, I would end up dealing with him in his own realm in one way or another, more than probably along with the soul-stealing, mind numbing collection of competitive and ruthless women he seemed to need surrounding him at all times. Then, of course, there was the fact that I had deeply considered Dillon at the heart of it all for a brief moment, that is, before he had hinted and and then made a point to mention his girlfriend—at which point I had realized that the work accomplished within the project, and especially that which was in his namesake, was simply business, again, to not quite my demise and never to my detriment, the emotional pull of the wrath I had faced in mourning a cry to the universe to send an army of spiritual warriors and angles the likes of which I had never seen—the helping hands of Anandar, who though a self stated advocate of ‘The Devil' had also groomed my once-lost ability to create on a whim, and of course, a frenzy of Dillon Francis look-alikes that seemed to exist if only to remind me of my bizzare and intense, undying sexual attraction to the man, despite his supposed status as taken or ‘off-market', and though I had learned in various ways to cope with the loss or mourn what might have been, to grieve even just the budding friendship which had become of the very begginings of it all, Dillon seemed sly and straightforward in a way that still hinted at something else—and however in my own obedience to my moral laws of monogamy, respecting one's own self and others in the way that there could never be more than business between the two of us, there was also there an attachment to my soul, and in an ascended sense, a higher purpose for what too, had happened with Dillon Francis—and though there may not have been such an obvious slew of women at his feet at any given time, it was almost uncannily more heartbreaking that I knew there were just as many beautiful, perfect women in line to be the mother of his children—more the marrying type, precisely by Hollywood and the white Caucasian standards, especially held by those of Californian men, all of which he was—that is,— the marrying type, Caucasian, and Californian, all of which fit my ideal genetically-driven standards, however with a personality which suited mine (almost too well,) a music portfolio that exhibited genius in itself despite its critical appeal, and the ability to make me laugh in even just the mildest thought form, it seemed that the possibility that o could love this man had bloomed, and then folded just as quickly—something like a night flower; in the light to was clear to see all the reasons someone like myself could never be suited for such a man, especially to marry and raise his children—by anyone's standards, and that I, again, would have to become an entirely other person to do so—and perhaps, in time, I would—become enough of another person; however, still myself, and with the grips of age upon all of us, I settled into the knowing that a man like Dillon Francis would by now have found a perfect thorough-bread white women with whom to share his life with—in the way of a smart businessman, which I also knew he was. Perfect, either way, I was still somehow remarkably thankful to his parents for having brought him into the world, in which doing so they had colored my own with such warmth and smiles that I could not ignore. i had realized for some time that my own predisposition to designer children had become a prominent factor in my own mounting attraction; it appeared as though surely the father to my future children was indeed white, and thiugh looked down upon by the blacks for being so inconsiderate as yo even be attracted to ‘my own kind', I saw it as just that—‘my own kind, in that I could not so much be attracted to dark skinned men as I could be attracted to anyone in my own family—brothers, cousins, etc., and in my own mind it even felt wrong and strange to consider that my future children would be passed the considerable amount of genetic trauma and all the disadvantages that came with it—not to mention the cruelty and trauma in the waking life I had experienced with nearly every black man I had ever known, and it seemed almost as if all men of color were meant to be friends and not partners within this waking world—sexual partners, at least—as I wasn't by the hurt I had experienced yet intrinsically racist and afraid; in business, and of course, especially in music, I had become used to being classified by race and had become so familiar with the inner workings of the colored world and colored culture through music—of course, in a world where the rappers and producers of the hip-hop world never wanted to just be friends, or simply work on projects fluidly, without some kind of innuendo or connotation—which I had years ago, of course realized, could have skyrocketed me to success, playing this sort of game; using my sexuality and sensibility for studio time, or dating around in the circles of mini-stardom that came with the movement of money from the streets; it was simple to see and easy to know that most rappers came into money in other ways in order to afford studio time, producers, and pieces of the limelight, and with that, came the expectation that the women of the industry were typically expected to succumb to the misogynistic standards represented in colored culture; it had become apparent in the world of music, but especially in hip hop and R&B music culture, that women were seen as objects, possessions, and decorations—all of which was devastating to myself, of course, a semi-androgynous non-bianary post-racial indigent indigenous-American with more of a mind for integration and evolution than materialism and manipulation; all this to say, I simply wasn't fit to be controlled and contorted by the color-coded system within the hip-hop industry, and in which ways never considered myself ‘black' or ‘black enough' without some forceful habit forming, or movement within the system I had of course out of sheer dissemblance been sorted into. Then, I wasn't typically willing to give up on any of my ideals, and of course had set my sights on being the perfect woman for whatever future husband and father to my future children would have me; I had missed out on the Hollywood life by a long shot and it would literally take a miracle to make me into a star; something like Anandar, but with a lot more money and power to fix all that was broken with my body, my heart, and my mind to match the charisma and talent I knew that I had—and I knew that I did have it. I knew that with a perfect body I would have already been given the opportunity to be signed somewhere, probably a major label like I had wanted—because with the talent that I already did have to match a perfect body, I was marketable. I knew that given the right clothes, nails, and hairstyles I would become a magnet for attraction, as even know, roaming the streets of New York City in ragged harem pants and old Chuck Taylors, I still had a sense of undying magnetism about me in my presence alone; a stature which dominated and demanded respect from those with the right eyesight and mind frame to see past my worn and haggard appearance and into the untapped plethora of symphonies and sonic alchemism which had been so divinely gifted, the thing which I kept sacred and cherished most in myself—and I did love myself, actually, probably so much so that the hatred and darkness of the world which seemed to need me to end myself continued to follow me in the form of what one might call the devil, if one believed in such—the typically obese or otherwise empty, malleable broken and soulless bodies possessed by which I had named ‘the coughing demon', which seemed some kind of demonic or satanic force with no other aim than to have me dead at all. I was, in fact, some sort of genius—not of course that it meant anything to anyone probably besides my mother, and whatever lover could see past my obvious faults—a body which had been tormented and stretched, scarred by trauma, a seven year old son with whom his father I had forcibly become estranged from due to violence—who may have even gone far enough as to have me hunted by this coughing demon so that I may never know my very own son— and the rest of the baggage that came with being a broken soul, once homeless, with skin dark enough to be prone to racism and without the perfect body to make up for it; as, one thing I had noticed is that the men of my desire often could see past color—so long as the body which was painted in any way brown was perfect enough to suit him. I knew I needed to Fonda way to pay for that surgery, to remove the damage which had been done to my body in the 30 years I had spent on earth, most of which I had spent fighting in some way for freedom, and best of all love—which to now, only my sons had truly given me; perhaps I could take a lesson from Kayla Lauren after all—the reformed pornstar and personal trainer — I hated personal training with a bloody passion, but making enough money for that kind of surgery on a DJ's salary seemed impossible, and probably was. It would take almost no time at all to become certified, and after all, under all that excess skin and ugly trauma was the body I had wanted and needed all along, to attract someone like Sonny. The moment had gone, though—and all of my wants and thoughts were in the wash; I had almost taken the long route of possible love—and it was the longest road at all to have gone from Sonny, to Dillon, to Joel with nothing more than a plethora of songs and all that I had ever wanted to become; In fact, all I had ever really wanted was love—but at this point, the point of no return, I realized that there was no inconceivable way that that love would come from the top, especially at the bottom— and now, from the confines of a hotel room full of broken and lost souls, Grammy season upon us with the nomination for the Best Dance album or whatever it was seeming to come from the very bottom of my own misguided heart, I learned my lessons entirely wel—to let go, and to learn from everything I had gathered, to make a list of everything I had ever wanted, material or not, and to pay close attention to every song and album drop —to pull the pieces of The Festival Project together for my own good, and forget about love. There was no love in music business, just music—and perhaps the only father to my children was the father to my son, who I had brighter forgotten nor sacrificed in exchanged for whatever arrangement was expected; that with the demonic howling of racing cars and the satanic whooping coughs of the empty bodies which surrounded me at all times had indeed trapped me in this loveless region of Hell for no purpose other than being what I was— a ‘black woman', by society's standards, despite my own thoughts on the subject—and the subject simply was; Love. There was no reason to stay in a world without Love, and instead based on money, and so it was settled that though serving my purpose, whatever it was, my time became shorter with every cough—that I would much rather have love than money—and it almost seemed that one would not come without the other. —Tales of a superstar DJ [Return all RED negative energy back to sender— Return red energy to sender Return negative energy to sender; Return all negative m energy to sender m return red to sender] [When it] Turns out, The bottom of your heart Was the tip of the Ice Berg And the whole ship has [s]unk[en], [&] I[t]'s probably ice cold At the bottom of the ocean; I'll tell you where i'm from Why, I'll tell you anything for About one dollar Turns out, I've already got one eye on you; One eye'd sad heart I should probably roll out my art on you [I probably should not] One man bought a kiss, Another, a whole night from her– One man bought a whole farm The other, a Whole Foods Market –and you can't even franchise those Amazon's got a monopoly We were playing for corners of earth, All i got was some kandi, Subscriptions to candidly, Actually, I really liked the tree trial (I think i'll wait a week, sorry) When it turns out The world that you wanted Was actually hours already The dollar you got Was also borrowed And the money they wanted and got Was just actually stolen from someone else They bought all the food up And sold it for profits I promise this avocado Once costs nothing at all But you wanted that car for your daughter She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it My mom, on my honor Of all the garages in Lost Lands, I promise the owner of it was The first to go last, And the last to come home Now he's on his own alter And also the worshiper; How do you go back? Oh, you don't Oh you don't Oh, you don't wanna know that But i was of course, All of your rock bottoms It's bottoms and tops, and We don't let the top fall over, We're counting up crumbs And this muffin costs $24 dollars Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks For the dead homies Not dead in the general sense But just in the head, the heart, And the soul The homeless are happier at McDonalds Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere I'll avoid the power struggle at operations for about 18 dollars and 56 sense (Please, keep the pennies) I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's Something indecent, or decadent Whichever it is Cause i'm better of with the memory of it Than actually dragging it in. –I'm a cat again. Ouch. Shut up. It HURTS. Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics. YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid. Yes, but lucily* for you– –or, for him– Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid. –Ouch– –Shut up. That we know of. No, not the google documents! GET IN THE HOLE. Hm. What. Blood Shower All along the watch tower Do you feel good? Do you? Do you feel bad about this. I do. I feel bad about this. I forgot to tell you– I should probably let you know that I just want to MAN, FUCK THIS DUDE. MA. WAHT. IT'S ON. WHAt. THE SHOW IS ON. THEWHAT. THE– *suddenly self aware* …I gotta get out of Boston. What, first this was about war, now it's about bird people? It's about a war WITH the bird people. I should sleep. Hahaha. No. This isn't funny anymore. At least it's over. MA– Oh, it's far from over. Yo, i'm going through some crazy shit right now. Spur of the moment I'd never thought of it; This is gonna take forever. I don't have the patience To even write this I just want french fries right now But been up for two days with no gym and I'm on a diet. GUAC TIME. No, no burritos. GUAC TIME. Oh shit, this is getting real as fuck . NOw i see it three ways. I love it. I hate it. HEY, LET ME OUT. GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE, SKRILLEX. I'M DILLON FRANCIS. IN THE HOLE. Check it out. Huh. It's another DJ. *agrees* Should we pick him up. WEll, the good news is: I found your friend. Oh, that's good. The bad news is: He's dead. Oh, that–'s … nice. Yeah. It is. Uh. Kaskade. Yeah. We gotta find Ryan. Why. What's up? You're freaking me out. Why. What's up. Nothing IS it my eyes? I– *wild ass eyes* Yeah, it's probably that. Fuck dude, what did you do to deadmau5. NOTHIN. He's not the same. What the fuck is that. Holy shit I jus timejumped Where the fuck are you going. How the fuck could this happen?! It COULDN'T. Well, that's it then. *shrugs* Well, I guess we're just gonna have to go dig up Dillon Francis. I guess so. Do you think he's still alive. Like, probably not– Maybe… No, probably not @prodbywar& @Halmadeit This amazon order took me nine hours Alexa, I think i should fire her Like a arm I don't leave at night without armor Don't make me a martyr Your mom will be proud of us all If i make it outta here And i'll look after her Got the whole block coming up on my heels as I walk Wtf is it… Idk dude. Is it speeding up? I…i think so. There's no way this is 140 IT's 140. It's 140 . There's no way. Yes way. Nah huh. Let me see. No. Let me at the decks. Let me at the decks. NO. YO LET ME AT THE DECKS. You want deks. Yes. I got deks. Really. yeus . I never listened to it like this In ableton I read serato, synesthesia and rekordbox I talk a lot, I'm like a human music box I walk a lot I run my mouth a mile a minute (faster than i run around the track reciting rap words) Like they're passwords. Oh, I could do this forever.. I wish i had i microphone right now And was all alone With the lights off Lying on the floor I'd be lying if i said I could afford you Just to fornicate But may consider playing with a foreigner If you're all for her I'm unnerved, you know Cause i've been up so long My monster likes to play with boys and Make the bass go down below where Nobody does anymore Once I get a hold of things Or the hang of it You've got another hot ones on your hands I've another record under my belt Or in my roster, Whatever you'd call it But now I've got no time to bark about Wanting a dog and a daughter But none of the responsibility or Going through all the trouble to find her a father I'm still holding a fart in. Reaally–cause–it's been a really long time. WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT A LONG TIME, JIMMY FALLON?? Um a lot! You literally just saw me make the journey all the way up from nothing. I am nothing EXACTLY. I don't have time to fight with you Jiimmy Fallon. I did NOT write these games by myself you know?! Um, excuse me– “GAMES” ?! YES, GAMES. Uh, I've only got one game with you in it, my friend. Is that so! One game that I've written with the Great–formerly LATE Jimmy Fallon. Is that like a play on words cause i'm on late night TV YOu'RE ON ALL THE TIME TV, JIMMY. NBC SHIT IS PRACTICALLY AUTOMATICALLY SYNDICATED. -_- …are you alright. –_-_-__-_ Hold on, I think i've got it Nice, I found a growler. yOu still haven't got all the monsters and sprites Ive got all the big ones, but the little ones are harder to catch. GrO0Wl3rrr. Aww. He's so ugly. Yeah, but cute, though, right. I don't think so. Gro)WwlErrrrrrrrr. Aww. That's so fucking gross. lol . so what does this thing look like. Well, that't the thing about the monsters and sprites. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. It's alright, it's alright–he's nice. WHAT. THAT'S A SPRITE. No, it's a monster. He's just scary. SUPACREE. David Bowie. What up. God, it took me ages to find you. Tell me about it. I'm still trying. We've been expecting you for a long time. You were expecting I'd die? Yes. So when she says she's “married to the music…” I'm married to the music. Oh, so. Yo, honestly if you een want to talk to this bitch, you'd better have like a musical instrument, or a mic in your hands, Otherwise– No, getawayfrom me. It's not even worth it. HI. –No. What's up? Tempo. SUNNI Cotour From the store I was poor Now i'm honorable In velour, Glamour (Snap) Forsure, Jesus Christs is making appearances in my abletons I'm not able to comprehend or understand exactly the message, But the evidence sire is mounting Get it Reached the temple, More of a sanctuary, Is that sacrilegious I guess it is, I'm stressed as ever Trying to get it to gether Hah right beside me davinci I'm way too tired for a remix; All i really want is some fries that are french And some thighs that are thick Like mine to sit on like five or six dicks Pick up up like chopped sticks There's nothing that can fix this (if it fits the picture) It's just residual effect of circumference Perhaps, it's just the geometrics mixing in with leverage I never felt safer Than in your arms And I never slept sounder How I wish that I never woke up (I never woke up) Soon these obsessions will cease, And I'll end it all… Soon these obsessions will cease, And I'll end it all It's honorable, you know When the world is overpopulated Heroic, courageous WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?! What! To Who?! To Dillon Francis. Nothing! Look at em! Oh, wow. Yeah. What happened? You did. I didn't do that You did something. Oh, what happened? He's fat now. He's not fat, just…rounder. Maybe its buffness. Maybe it's happy weight. On crows the owl Somebody saw it all No knowing how, but Somebody saw it all know knowing how at all But Somebody saw it all Somebody saw it all They're still watching DAVE GROHL Well, hope tt works out for you. What. Where you going. Anywhere but here. Are you serious? So fuckin serious. You don't want in on this? Are you out of your mind Yes. Of course. That was a stupid question wait , what happened I don't know. I kinda figured sometimes it's best to just start in the middle of an argument. Saves me having to build suspensese–especially working with celebrity guests– less cut takes? Less cut takes! Okay, who wants cupcakes. NOBODY. THE INVITATION CLEARLY STATES “WE HAVE COOKIES” [silence] [beat.] …I'll have a cupcake Ugh! –yeah, I–I'll have one, too. Are you serious. They look tasty. I'll tell you what looks tasty… Tell me, i'll write a hit song about it. Try to keep it classy. Okay, look in here for a second. Alright, i'm looking. How many tracks do you see. I don't know. At leas 5. //return all hexes curses and demons to sender//>>return negative energy to sender>>return bear claw hex to Starr Michael Roberts>>return Phoenixx hair hex wifebeater curse >>karma effect to Michael John Roberts>>return negative energy to sender>>//aura protection//health regeneration//protection helm>>return curse to sender>>protect>>carrier>>supacree>>carrier>>Cree Dahavalynn>>protect carrier>> Sunni Blū>>return curses and hexes to sender>>return death curses to sender>> >>return coughs to sender// protext//protect recipient of coughing curse>>protect carrier><<return to sender// {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©