“My Pet Coelacanth”

LEGENDS What did you DO?! What did I do? WHAT DID YOU DO? DID I BREAK SOMETHING? I told you, they're evil! Can they help it? No, at this point, it's just cyclical. No. No. No. (Flashback) “You sold your soul to music.” CUT BACK TO: I certainly did NOT. Ahem. (Before) “I'll trade then.” WHAT? She did say that. I did say that. Well FUCK. What was HIS deal? I don't know! I don't think anybody knows. Joel would know. Uhm. I'd like to phone a friend. You have friends? I have a friend. [phone rings] Who is this? THAT'S IT. What was “It”? WHERE'S MY PHONE. Ah, Uh-Oh. Fuck this shit. Don't fuck up. I'M GETTIN ON TINDER. Awww, fishsticks. That sounds tasty. T-t-t-tasty–Tastaaayyyy. Shut up, Fergie. FERGIE I like drugs. [Nobody Objects Entirely.] COELACANTH. WHAT IS THAT?! I don't know. {Coelacanth Approaches] OH DEAR GOD. I mean, I'm sure God's partly responsible for any of this– WHAT IS THAT? That's just Coelacanth. Fucking–JESUS CHRIST. I mean, maybe– AHHHHHHH. Just calm down! WHATTHEFUCK He is shy– [Coelacanth murmurs] –I think. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.