TLP417: Unraveling Ambition with Valia Glytsis

In this episode, Valia Glytsis, founder and CEO of The Paradox of Leadership and author of "Unraveling Ambition," shares her journey of understanding leadership. Valia highlights the importance of aligning personal values with actions, questioning fear-based versus truth-based ambition, and emphasizing inner work and generational shifts in leadership. She explores the intersection of trust, spirituality, and leadership, advocating for listening without an agenda and embracing uncertainty. Valia emphasizes the role of ambition in adding value and suggests regularly questioning habits and perspectives for personal growth and alignment with one's true self.     Key Takeaways [03:20] Valia shares that before having kids, she and her partner enjoyed testing luxury hotels worldwide, blending their love for leadership and luxury. Reflecting on her journey to understand leadership, she realized it's about how one shows up, not just a job title. This led her to "unravel" inherited habits and beliefs, like untangling knots. Valia also questioned her ambition, understanding that constant striving for more didn't bring happiness. By exploring these ideas, she gained a deeper understanding of herself and leadership, merging these insights into her personal and professional life. [06:55] She shares how her Greek heritage imposed societal expectations, shaping her behavior to be a "good girl," daughter, and friend. Valia realized much of this was inherited rather than chosen, creating a complex knot of expectations. This led her to question what we inherit versus who we truly are. She believes true freedom comes from aligning personal values with actions, based on self-defined values rather than imposed ones. By unraveling inherited patterns and living according to her own values, she feels on the path to freedom. [09:32] Valia notes that fear-based ambition is about meeting external expectations, like taking care of family, while truth-based ambition is driven by a desire to make an impact or express creativity. She believes true leadership starts from within, with self-awareness and alignment with personal values. Without this inner work, external leadership is superficial. Valia also sees a generational shift in leadership, with modern leaders focusing more on alignment and collaboration rather than just reaching agreements. [16:12] She explains that judgment and curiosity can't coexist. When you become curious, judgment fades. Similarly, fear can be eased by focusing on gratitude and asking what you’re learning from the situation. Fear often leads to outward attacks, but curiosity dissolves judgment, creating space for collaboration. She recommends asking, "What am I missing here?" to stay humble, curious, and centered, which helps reduce negative reactions. [17:43] Valia shares that a key idea from her book is moving from always trying to understand everything to embracing trust. In her personal journey, she faced many things she couldn't fully understand, like family issues and health scares. This led her to see trust as essential, especially in leadership. Trust involves moving from the head to the heart, letting go of the need to rationalize everything, and believing there's a bigger purpose. This mix of trust and humility allows for a deeper, more holistic experience. [21:17] She emphasizes the importance of slowing down to listen without an agenda, which makes people feel truly seen and heard. She reflects on her book's evolution, noting that the original manuscript felt irrelevant after the COVID-19 pandemic and becoming a mother. This led her to rewrite it with a new perspective, keeping some elements while adding more relevant content. The title "Unraveling Ambition" emerged as a reflection of her experiences and the changing world around her. [22:53] Valia talks about the difference between managing and leading. Managing involves control and organization, while leadership is more about embracing uncertainty and trusting the process. She likens it to a scavenger hunt, where each experience leads to the next, revealing new insights. For her, spirituality and leadership intersect in the realm of uncertainty and trust. Valia enjoys leadership more when there's freedom and trust instead of strict control. She also discusses how people usually only change when they're extremely happy or in a lot of pain. Tracking your energy levels can help guide you towards joy and away from the comfort zone. [25:20] She believes ambition feels good when it adds value and makes things better. If ambition comes from habit, it can be tiring and lead to burnout. Since becoming a parent, her ambitions have changed, but she hasn't lost them. Setting boundaries and taking care of herself helps her energy spread to other areas of her life. She sees a connection between ambition, spirituality, trust, and leadership. Sometimes ambition comes from a spark within, leading to exciting journeys of exploration and growth. [28:15] Valia suggests taking time to question habits, perspectives, and preferences to see if they truly belong to you. By approaching these aspects with curiosity and asking if they're really yours, you can choose what's best for you. She believes doing this regularly can lead to personal growth and alignment with your true self. [29:19] And remember, character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved. -Helen Keller.   Quotable Quotes "Leadership has nothing to do with the role or the job or the company. It's just how you show up." "Happiness doesn't necessarily live on the other side of ambition." "When you can match your values with your actions, you're on the path to freedom." "Leadership starts from the inside. If you're not true and aligned, the outside is just a facade." "Looking for alignment creates something together, while agreement feels more like one wins, one loses." "Curiosity neutralizes judgment. It diffuses fear and opens up a co-creative space." "What am I missing here? What am I not seeing? These questions bring you back to center, fostering humility and curiosity." "What if trust were a language? Drop into trust rather than always intellectually needing to understand." "Slowing down to speed up allows us to listen without agenda, fostering real curiosity." "Life's experiences are like a scavenger hunt, each clue leading us to the next, embracing spirituality in leadership." "Change often stems from extreme joy or extreme pain. Tracking our energy helps navigate towards growth." "Ambition in service leads to a sense of purity and fulfillment, while habitual ambition can lead to exhaustion." "Unraveling what we take for granted in ourselves fosters personal growth and authenticity." "Embrace the spark within and be willing to reevaluate habits and beliefs with curiosity."   This is the book mentioned in our discussion with Valia:   Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Valia Glytsis LinkedIn | Valia Glytsis Instagram | Valia Glytsis Website |