Episode 254: It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People with Dr. Ramani

Most narratives around narcissism in relationships center on individuals with narcissistic personalities. My guest this week, Dr. Ramani, shifts the focus to the survivors, giving them a voice and discussing the emotional turmoil and psychological impact of being in a relationship with a narcissistic individual. Through Dr. Ramani’s latest book, “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People,” she offers invaluable insights into navigating the aftermath of narcissistic relationships, empowering survivors to reclaim their sense of self and find a path forward. Her extensive research and clinical experience offer practical guidance for individuals navigating a divorce or contemplating leaving a narcissistic relationship, providing a beacon of hope and understanding in the journey toward healing. Featured topics: Narcissism is a personality style. It is a series of traits. (8:04) Why is it hard for people in a relationship with a narcissist to understand what’s actually happening? (14:43) What’s happening to us when we are gaslit and in a fog of confusion from narcissistic abuse? (18:37) What radical acceptance is and how it can help you build a path forward toward healing (35:06) How Dr. Ramani helps people get to a place of radical acceptance (44:07) Learn more about Dr Ramani: Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting, a company focused on educating individuals, clinicians and businesses/institutions on the impact of narcissistic personality styles. Her academic research was focused on the impact of personality and personality disorders on health and behavior. She is an author of multiple books including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility and her newest book, It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People will be released in February, 2024 (Penguin Life). Dr. Durvasula is a faculty member for the APA Leadership Institute for Women in Psychology, and a consulting editor for the journal Behavioral Medicine. She has spoken widely on the impact of narcissism on mental health, relationships and the workplace. She also operates a popular YouTube channel and podcast (Navigating Narcissism). Dr. Durvasula is also working with PESI on the development of an educational and certification program for clinicians working with clients experiencing the fallout of narcissistic relationships. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Dr. Ramani’s website Dr. Ramani on Instagram Dr. Ramani on TikTok Dr. Ramani on YouTube Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist! Answer four easy questions and you’ll get a curated list of podcast episodes to best support you as you navigate these tricky waters. I’ll also help you identify where you currently stand on this journey, and what’s ahead, with resources to help you move through this process with knowledge and grace. GET IT HERE DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.