Podcast 11 – The Rest of the Story…

It doesn't matter where you've been, where you are, or specifically what you want for your life right now.  We're all on a road together.  Here's “The Rest Of the Story…” that tells you when miracles started to show up in my own life.  I hope there's some part of this story that connects.  I'm confident enough in the Universe that since you found us…..it will!

TRANSCRIPTION:

You’re listening to Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 11.

Wow, I am so glad that you have found us and that you’re stopping by today. Hi, my name is Thomas Miller. The website is subconscious mind mastery dot com and we are on iTunes. It’s really cool because if you type in subconscious to iTunes now, we’re kind of up there like in the first position, at least on my computer. I don’t know, maybe it’s discriminate toward me. But we’re starting to get some attraction out there, people from countries all over the world listening to this. And the podcast download numbers are really impressive. So thank you. Thank you for joining in. Be a subscriber, you know, if you go to the website at subconsciousmindmastery.com over on the right hand side there is a button that … there’s a box that says ‘subscribe via social media’. And that very first button, it’s kind of hard to tell what it is. The others, you know, you can tell, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. But there’s one there that is if you hit it, it will take you to your iTunes and automatically subscribe the podcast to you. So a couple of times a week we release a new podcast. And those will download for you automatically. The other button there is the RSS feed and I’m feeding this through Feed Burner, so if you click on that and otherwise get RSS feeds some other way then that would be a good way to connect as well. Love to have you join, love to have you subscribe, and thank you for listening.

Something I’ve really been in touch with this past week is where we all are on our journey. Some people have made a lot of progress in their life and they’re looking for new ways and new ways to hear something or new tools and technologies to even reach higher ground. But a lot of people are really in the dumps. I mean this Facebook group through a coaching program that I’m doing and man, there’s one guy in there that just my heart goes out to him because I know that he is where I was not just too long ago. And you really want to reach out to people like that. And my heart really goes out to this guy. So no matter where you are in your journey I hope that you will find something here that you can connect to and that will help encourage you and help uplift you and give you something to lock onto or something to think about that you can take your life to a higher level, that’s what we’re here for. So I thought to that end that we might talk for just a couple of minutes together about some significant milestones in my life especially over the last five years. You know I had a really tough go at it and dug myself into a pretty deep hole. And sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think, Thomas, what in the world are you doing? You know, putting my life out here in this way in such a vulnerable form or fashion, and this is really hanging it out there. And I guess probably naturally I’d like to keep my cards to my chest a little bit.

But I figure if it happened to me and I was able to turn my life around from what was really a mess, then maybe there would be something inside my story that would encourage you, because really once I finally grasped some of this material and changed the way that I was thinking, my life really took dramatic changes in an upward direction. And I know that’s why you’re here too. We all want the same thing. As far as the timeline goes, I really hit bottom in the second half of 2007. I went through my second divorce and it happened to be that I was married to a physician and I was running the business. I was running the practice and we have several other things that we were doing. And so the divorce caused me a job crisis at the same time. I have two kids, so I have a son that’s halfway through college and a daughter that’s just graduating from high school this spring as we’re doing this in April of 2013. And one divorce is bad enough on kids, but two really, really has an impact. And so it affected my kids. I didn’t respond to the second divorce very well and so I started doing some pretty unhealthy things and so it affected my health as well. I knew that my life was headed in a really bad direction.

Now, there’s a concept that I’m working on and it’s going to be the topic of this next podcast. And I think if there’s one thing that sticks in my mind of the shift point for me it comes to this whole concept of, let’s call it identity, ego, self, you put your own context around that. But I’m working on some next podcasts where we’re going to be talking about how to remove your ego and how to step back away from such emotional internal involvement in outcomes, because see that’s the way my life was wrapped up, was around getting this desired outcome, call it controlling, call it manipulative, call it proud, but it was all across my life. Everything was involved in stroking and serving and fulfilling and my ego was just … my identity was so a part of every process. And as I look back over this path there’s one common theme and that is when I released the identity, when I stepped away from the ego, when I got outside myself, that’s when changes really started to happen. Now, I’ve told you in previous podcasts, if you’ve been poking around on the website you know that I really was living a life and acting in a way that just didn’t work.

My whole background and my whole upbringing centered around fundamentalist Christianity, a very rules based religion. It was based on a lot of self-righteousness, but also had tons and tons of rules and beliefs that had to be because it was all based on somebody’s interpretation of the Bible, which of course was God’s word. So I was boxed into this world of not being able to wiggle outside of these rules that were confining me, taught to me by these authorities that were putting my life by God, who I dared not question nor think that anything that I was being taught was anything but the word of God. And oh, by the way, if you step outside of this you’re going to go roast in hell for eternity. So I built my whole life around what I thought was the way to not become an internal marshmallow and I was going to do everything I could to make sure that you didn’t become an internal marshmallow too. So you know the saying, how’s that working for you? Well it didn’t work out so well, for myself it was an internal conflict, I was at war because I knew there was something not right. I knew there was some dot not being connected, but I didn’t dare step into the inquiry of what it was. As far as my external relationships, the people in my life, oh my God, I’ve, you know, gone back for the last five years cleaning up messes. But then it all hit me when this second person who I was married to, decided that she couldn’t take it either.

And that was my bottom, that was the point that finally instead of looking out and externally at everything else being part of the problem, I sat down in mid-2008 about six or eight months after my divorce and I started to look at me because my initial reaction was, well God has just given up on me, God doesn’t care about me anymore. God had nothing to do with it. I had created this all myself. God was not to blame in any way or sort. But it took a lot for me to get to the point where I could look at that.

The thing that gave me a different perspective was a program that a doctor friend of mine invited me to in mid-2008 called Landmark Education. Landmark comes from a program that was started in the late 60s, early 70s that was called EST, it was popular in California, but now it’s permeated around the country and literally around the world as Landmark Education. And Landmark’s program really for the first time got me to look outside all of that old structure that I grew up with that wasn’t working. So the important thing about that piece of the journey is that if life isn’t working for you, there probably is the answer just over the next horizon, whatever it is for you that it takes to get you to look at that next level or look at a different perspective. I would highly encourage anyone to take a look at Landmark who was looking for this type of material, to look at a different way of seeing life. They have a program that takes about six months to complete four different phases of the program, four different classes, but it really is a great program, it meant a lot to me.

Now, the other thing I did simultaneous to that and I was just in a position in life to be able to do this, this is not for everybody, but my lease had run out and I was feeling pretty itchy and wild and didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do and so I bought an RV and I decided that I would live in it for one year and just see how it was. Well, I got a taste of the RV lifestyle and that was great and I learned a lot about RVs, that was another beneficial thing, but the most incredible part about it was being away from everything that I had grown accustomed to. So all the old memories and all the old visuals and all the old people, I was able to separate from all of that emotion. And that was a great time of that one year in the RV and during that time I would spend a lot of the evenings sitting outside, enjoying a glass of wine, listening to the sounds of nature which were just magnificent, and thinking about my life and journaling, I wrote and wrote and wrote, and the more I dug inside, the more started to come out. And it was during that time that I also learned this great concept, it was from an article I found on the internet that some lady in Oklahoma had written about doing the opposite. I put that in one of my previous podcasts, it was a Seinfeld episode where George’s life hadn’t ever turned out the way he wanted it and so Jerry’s advice was, “Well why don’t you just do the opposite?” And it was a really funny scene, you can search it up, it’s on YouTube. I’ve also got a link to it down on one of my other posts. But it’s really funny because George does the opposite and things really start to change for him.

So I looked around at a lot of different areas of my life and I thought, you know, if I were able to achieve at least the opposite of this, it would be really cool. Hey, instead of broke, I could be rich. Instead of having no relationships I can have great relationships. Instead of being frustrated in my job and my career I could really enjoy my job and career. So I started lining up all the behaviors that I had done to get to where I was and I just did a 180 on all of them. I had a left side column and a right side column. The left side column of the paper would be what I did to get to where I was. The right column would be to go where I wanted to go. And every one of those things had basically an opposite action step on the other side of the right side of the paper. And finally things started to turn around. But the common denominator that I saw through all of these changes is when I released my identity, when I threw it away, that’s when the changed started to happen.

I took an audio book recording class in Los Angeles back in 2012 with a couple of guys that are on top of that industry, Pat Fraily and Scott Brick. And we were in this recording studio in Los Angeles, in Hollywood, and they were coaching us on how to read audio books. And it’s a huge industry and I narrate audio books from time to time. And one of the coaching points that Scott Brick, one of the great audio book narrators gave me was, “Throw it away, just throw it away. Act like you’re not…” He said, “You’re putting too much of yourself into it, just throw it away, let it be.” It’s one of the great sayings that I love from Wayne Dyer, and he quotes John Lennon, “Let it be, just let it be.” And that was so foreign to what I had grown up with. Well in the fall of 2009 a person that I was working with cut me in very unexpectedly on a real estate deal that we were doing. And he said, “If you do bump, bump, bump, this, this and this, then I’ll give you $8500.” Would be the extra compensation for what we were working through. Well I pulled off my part of the deal and he did too. I took a photocopy of that check and I have it hanging on my success wall. It’s a great reminder that miracles can happen. And do you know what happened? Over the next, about 12 months I guess, another $40,000 just showed up. You all know, I’m not kidding 40, you see there’s the Texas coming out, $40,000 just showed up totally unexpected. But I had started to put myself in a position that money would manifest for me. I didn’t do anything for those, they just showed up.

And that’s what I’m saying, that if you just throw it away, if you set your intentions, you visualize what was going to happen. I had passwords on all of the websites and computers and everything where I logged into a password was something to do with manifesting money, I’m not kidding. I would write it up on the mirror of the bathroom, I’ve told you that. But then you just kind of forget about it, and that’s when it starts to happen. Well, the next big event was closing out of the RV, the year was starting to wind down, it was now the fall of 2009, and I had a real internal prompting. I was really getting an internal voice that said it’s time to move back to Dallas. So I created in my mind the type of place where I wanted to live. I wanted to get an apartment and I had a particular geography of where I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be halfway between where my kids went to school and where they lived with their mom. I wanted to be right in between there so that I could have equal access to be able to spend time with them. And that worked for me from where I was working as well. So this for me was kind of the first test if you will, to put this whole process to use in my life, kind of for the first time, let’s try this out. So I visualized what I wanted and I started looking. And guess what, I found nothing. Every place was just not what I had in mind at all. But I kept looking. I knew the only thing I could do was to keep looking. It had to be out there. I just hadn’t found it yet. So I kept searching, kept searching.

And finally one day, and here’s the throwaway again, it was on a Saturday in the fall in football season, my son was finishing his high school football career. And they were in these little playoff games that they were having. And in between games I found on Craigslist this subleased apartment. And the address caught my attention because it was halfway in between the two locations that I visualized. When I went in and took a look at the apartment, it was exactly; I mean exactly, I can’t tell you how close it was in reality to what I had envisioned in my mind. Well, I leased the apartment and ended up staying there for 18 months and it worked out great.

The next thing that I had to do was to get out of that RV. Well, that became a miracle in and of itself. I had a diesel pickup truck to pull the fifth wheel RV with. I have to tell you, I hated that pickup truck. And I had actually eliminated the word hate from my vocabulary, but I … folks, I hated that pickup truck. And no idea what I was going to do to get out of it or get rid of it, well that truck had a problem, it had a mechanical error that would cause a certain thing to happen. And it had been in the shop five consecutive months for this same problem. And the fifth time that I was in the dealership they pulled me off to the side and they said, “Chrysler has agreed to replace your truck under the [0:15:47.8] law, go out in the parking lot and start looking around because you can pick anything that you want, we’re going to trade you out of that truck.” Well, I picked a Jeep Rubicon Wrangler. And it is a total love affair to this day, I love my Jeep. And every time I get in my jeep and I start the ignition in it I think of miracles.

Well, the next thing was selling the RV. Now, I’m not one of these … you know, you watch these shows that are on, like the history channel or A&E these days, these selling shows, you know, like porn stars and what’s the other one, about the storage wars, you know, those shows where it’s all about bartering and buying and selling, and I have no earthly talent in that area. I guess I need to manifest that I do because I’ve never really had that knack. Well, I had an RV on my hands that I had to get rid of. Basically the guy that had been maintaining it for me, wanted to sell it for a commission and I was happy to pay him for that. He had some contacts and on December 23^rd, two days before Christmas of 2010, I delivered the RV to a game warden who had bought it through my friend. So the game warden benefitted because he needed it immediately. My friend benefitted because he got some extra cash and I got rid of the RV two days before Christmas.

So things were going pretty good. I had gotten rid of the RV, got a new miracle Jeep vehicle that I loved, had a brand new apartment. So I thought I would do a vision board and see how far we could stretch it. So right there during the holidays in 2010, I did a vision board and there were several items on it. But one of the things that was on the vision board was a microphone. My college degree and my early career was in broadcasting, and I’ve always loved radio. And there’s just something about the magic of radio that I just have always enjoyed. And I thought I would love to be back on the radio. So I put a microphone, just a picture of a microphone up on the board. Do you know that within six months I was co-host and producer of a health talk live radio show on KRLD, one of the prominent news stations in the Dallas Fort Worth market? That show lasted for a year, KRLD liked what they saw and they asked me to do another one for them, another place where I set my intentions and then just kind of let it be, was my relationship with my kids. I was learning now not to force things, not to demand things. So I let my relationship with my kids just grow and evolve. Oh, I set my intentions, I knew what I wanted and I set them very clearly. But that was for myself, I let the kids be. Oh, I was there, I was halfway between their home and their school. And I was involved in the various things that they wanted me involved in. But as I didn’t put pressure on it and just let it relax, I’ve got to tell you, that my relationship with my kids today is better than it’s ever, ever been.

I’ve created a few other things that haven’t manifest yet, but it were just getting to the right time, see we need that gestation period. And it’s just the right time. And there are some incredible things that are going to start taking place in the life of me as dad and the kids. I can already see it coming.   And then in podcast number 7, I told you about the situation in Christmas 2011 when just this amazing healing with my mom, my brother, my kids, the whole magical experiences detailed in that podcast of what took place at Christmas time in 2011. And now I have a wonderful rapport with my brother. And he and his wife are travelling around in an RV. And right now as I’m recording this, I think they are down on the coast of Texas enjoying an early spring down there, so what about the journey now, now that we’ve met here on this podcast? Well I have a deep desire to teach what I can and use this story as a platform, and some of the things that I’ve learned and my voice to help anyone who is interested in growing in their life. I have certain goals, specific goals that I want to achieve. I have a specific place I want to live. I’m mapping out what I want the rest of my life to count for and what I want to do with it. I have a great coach who is helping me unravel some of the deep gnarly knots that are still programmed down in there. And that’s really how this podcast has come about, is just an extension and a continuation of that process.

So you’re going to get to watch and we’ll walk through this journey together because I’ll keep you informed on how things are unfolding. So I hope there’s something in here that has encouraged you. I hope that you can see that if you even feel like you’re in the depth of the pit right now, that if you will commit and take the steps to do what you need to do to learn a better way, that it will unfold for you.

Finally, and I’ll just mention this briefly; because there are so many great resources out there that can help you along the way. And I’ve pulled out several of the key things that helped me, Landmark Education is one, I’ve mentioned that. And on the website, subconsciousmindmastery.com, over on the right hand side I’ve just put links to the various things, the tools if you will, that really helped me. One is an audio program called The Science of Getting Rich. This is a program by Bob Procter, Jack Canfield and Michael Beckwith. They explore a book that was written almost 100 years ago by Wallace Waddles, called The Science of Getting Rich. And I’ll tell you, I bought that, it was more expensive, it’s actually cheaper now than it was back then, and I had to so scrape to get the money to buy that program, but it was the best money I’ve ever spent on myself. I did that program at about the same time I was going through the Landmark Program, and both of them combined, it was like one voice explaining it this way, another voice explaining it that way, and the two of them resonated for me. And it was such a dual impact at exactly the same time. And it’s not just about money. Yes, that’s the topic of the book and that’s the platform that they base it on. But it’s about any area of life. You can substitute any other word in there and get exactly the same message.

Another thing that really helped me were Kelly Howell’s audio meditations. And I have a link for her website there, brainsync.com. In unpacking everything I realized that so much of what I had come to believe and who I had come to be was programmed into me audibly, it was from so many things that my mother had said and all the sermons that I had listened to. And all of that had me convinced and believing a certain way about life. The other thing that really affected me was that I grew up in a critical environment, so I didn’t have a high self-esteem. I didn’t think I was of much value. And I could see where that had all come from audible programming. So I thought if I could hear another conversation in my ears over and over and over, that I could reprogram that thinking as well. And Kelly Howell’s work in that is just fantastic. And I’ll just direct you to her website to explore on your own. But that was a valuable resource. Her companion product is Think Right Now. And I have a link to that as well. These are more behavioral modification oriented, they’re about 20-30 minutes in length, but they’re set to 60 beat per minute music. And that’s baroque type classical music. And that’s supposed to put your brain in the most adaptive state to hear a new message. And I think there’s tremendous value there as well.

And then finally I created an Amazon store because there are just too many books, there are too many books and other products there that are just fantastic. This is the base library. I mean these are the best of the best. And so I’ve tried to just pull those aside and put them in one place, that if you wanted to click over there. I’ve tried to put at least the paperback and the Kindle version of the books in there. But these are the things that have really touched my life. You have to study this material and you have to learn a new way of doing and a new way of being. And these are great tools that all impacted me individually and I just wanted to pull them aside and put them in a place where you could conveniently look at them for yourself.

I really appreciate you listening today. We have much more exciting material ahead. I’m Thomas Miller.

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